Saturday, January 17, 2009

Week End Musings

Lazing around on a Sunday evening at home, some of the incidents at school extending to similar ones today came to my mind. I thought I will write some of these if not for anything but at least for sake of posterity.

I remember our drill master intending to tell a girl student to tuck her blouse inside her skirt . This is what he said “Go inside your blouse”. All students burst into laughter and the teacher did not know why.

There was this teacher who taught us Hindi. He had shut out a student and he wanted the boy to come inside the class. Instead of saying “Come in”, the teacher went outside the class and shouted ‘Get out’. The teacher’s English was restricted to ‘Good morning, good evening and get out’. Another incident when the teacher wanted to shut out three students who did not do their home work. The teacher said ‘Both of the three students – out, out and out’ Hilarious.

These incidents did not stop with school but extended to the business world. Some of these are quite interesting. A male employee who delayed submission of a report wrote a memo to his lady boss ‘ Report late. Kindly bare with me’. The lady boss could not control her laughter.

My friend, Kavi, at the end of a training session that he delivered effectively, was told by one of the lady participants much to his anguish, ‘I enjoyed you thoroughly’. Poor Kavi did not know where to look.

This one is the icing on the cake. To remind his boss of a particular issue, the young man sent a SMS captioned ‘Genital reminder’ instead of ‘Gentle reminder’. The boss was doubting the intentions.

I could go on. But my lazing around had to end with my wife’s call to accompany her to the market. No way, but heed to my boss’s call.


Aleta said...

It only takes a small change in a word to completely deviate from the meaning. At least, it has the potential of bringing mirth, if the receiver is in such a state of mind.

Well, I thoroughly enjoyed (ahem) your post! And thank you for your kind words on my blog.

Aleta said...

I must also add ~ being a reader of Kavi's blog ~ you made me smile when I read his reaction to the lady's comment. Based on your words and his blog, I could picture the situation and his reaction.

nsiyer said...

Thanks Aleta that I could bring you joy. Good to connect and stay connected.

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed your post. Did not see you for a week.

ugich konitari said...

How about :


" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls
hostel pulling cigarette... ? "

teacher in a furious mood...
"write down ur name and father of ur name!!"


Kavi said...

Yes Sir ! i really didnt know where to look.

On another note...i had a sports coach. Whose way of saying 'fill the ball' was 'Hit the wind in the ball' !!


Sucharita Sarkar said...

I loved the English bloopers. But we are like this only, no?

priya said...


Hilarious post, Sir. :)

I remember my cousins narrating about this teacher in their school who would say...

'Open the windows and let the atmosphere come in' :P

'I have two daughters. Both of them are girls!!!'

To a boy angrily - 'I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?'

And similar other atyachaar on English. These are quite popular as email forwards too!

Sania Mahajan said...

Hilarious post Sir,
Thoroughy enjoyed it!

Being a student of Kavi sir, can imagine his reaction!! :)

Ganesh said...

Dear Sir,

Lovely and a completely hilarious post. Knowing Kavi and his missus from a long time, I would have loved to be in that training programme just to see his flabbergasted face. It at least gives me a extra advantage to pull his leg the next time I meet him.

ns iyer said...

Thanks, Anonymous. Nice to note I was missed.

Ugich Konitari, hilarious. Thanks for adding to the post.

Kavi, read all the other comments. A lot of them have a feeling that you are a good boy.Congrats!

Thanks Sucharita.We are like that only.

Thanks Priya for adding to the post. All of them are hilarious.

Thanks Sania! at last you came. Nice to see you post.

Thanks Ganesh.You should pull Kavi's legs and ask him for more details.

TCGirivasan@Vasan, Puducherry said...

While I was in Footwear Unit of Unilever, I had a friend who was a very good technical guy but not so good in English and more so when he writes a mail. Factory Manager had asked my friend to send a pair of shoes to his senior colleague in Mumbai. My friend selected an excellent pair of shoes and showed it to FM. FM was delighted and told my friend “Courier this today itself and give me the POD details. I shall write a mail to Keki Saab”. My friend who was over excited, couriered it and also wrote a mail to the senior colleague stating that the shoe has been couriered giving him the courier details. FM came out of the meeting and asked him whether the shoe has been couriered and asked for the courier details. My excited friend told him that he has couriered the shoe and has also written a mail to the senior colleague. FM was traumatized and asked my friend whether he did a spell check before sending the mail, knowing his English. He happily said " Yes sir, I did spell check twice and have marked a copy to you also". FM anxiously opened the mail and read the message. Everything was fine except the footer. The footer said "With Beast Regards" instead of "With Best Regards". I need not tell you what would have happened next. By the way, the senior colleague was none other than the Chairman. Spell check can check the spelling but cannot distinguish between Best and Beast. This differentiation is made by our English.

nsiyer said...

That was hilarious, Girivasan. Thanks for taking time to pen the incident.

Pearl said...

I love those kinds of errors. :-)
BTW, you left a comment on my post the other day about the monkeys in the brain. :-) You do not know this about me, but I practice yoga four times a week, and the teachers are always talking about calming the monkey chatter in our minds, but I had not truly considered how many of us honestly do have figurative monkeys in our minds, swinging from branch to branch, flinging intellectual poo (if you'll forgive the mental picture that may or may not put in your own monkey mind!) and generally howling and babbling nonsense. The older I get, the more thankful I am for growing awareness of my own monkeys.

With Beast Regards,


nsiyer said...

Thanks Pearl. I think it is an endless chatter till we live,else we need to deal with silence which can be tougher.

Dewdrop said...

LOL!!! actually, more so thinking about Kavi's reaction to the incident and the meaningful glances you must have given him...

nsiyer said...

Thanks Dewdrop for your comments. I did not give him meaningful glances. You are seeing meaning, I guess.

Ifra said...

Hello Sir,
This post finally got me to blog!!
Absolutely Hilarious..
In fact it reminds me abt one of our professors at Symbiosis Law College..who barely knew English nd murdered d language left right nd center!!
He once pointed out to a girl screaming 'Call Girl..Call Girl' from the other end of the office corridor in an attempt to call that girl!! :D
Regular faux pas in his class became the only reason for students to attend his lectures!!
He did LLM frm UK(which we later found was Univ. of Kolhapur)..and became the Vice-Principal for sumtym!!

nsiyer said...

Thanks Ifra for sharing. Congrats! on starting your blog. I visited the blog but it does not allow me to peep inside.
Your comments were hilarious and I enjoyed it.

The Magical Ride said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

It was hilarious!

One prof had seen his student in the theater,so the next day he told the student "I saw you in the theater along with my wife".

nsiyer said...

Thanks, Parthi. Interesting and hilarious. How words placed differently, can alter meanings?