Monday, March 29, 2010

Who's minding the store?

A little boy went into a drug store, reached the telephone, climbed on to the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone number). The store-owner looked at the boy and listened to the conversation.

Boy: "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?"
Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): "I already have someone to cut my lawn."
Boy: "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now."
Woman: "I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.Boy: (with more perseverance). "
Boy: "Lady, I'll even sweep your house and your sidewalk, and so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida."
Woman: "No, thank you."
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.

The store-owner, who was listening to this, walked over to the boy and said "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."
Boy: "No Sir, thanks, I am fine."
Store Owner: "But you were really pleading for one."
Boy: "No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!"

This is what we call "Self Appraisal"

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Two of us within us

An old man is teaching his grandson about life:

' A fight is going on inside me, and a terrible fight between two wolves. One is evil - anger, envy, regret, sorrow, revenge, falsehood, self doubt, ego, and lies.

"The other is good - joy, peace, happiness, love, affection, praise, truth, trust, compassion, confidence, good and faith."

And he continues saying - " And this fight is going inside you and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a moment and then asked the grandfather,
"Which one will win?"

The grandfather replied " The one you feed."

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

One more, once more

The last I wrote was on training sessions for men on the eve of 'International Women's Day.' Women had a good laugh - perceptible from the responses to my last post. This post is on 'Training sessions for Women.'

Topic 1. Silence, the Final Frontier:
Where No Woman Has Gone Before

Topic 2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking:
Making Deposits

Topic 3. Parties:
Going Without New Outfits

Topic 4. Bathroom Etiquette:
Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too

Topic 5. Communication Skills I:
Tears - The Last Resort, not the First

Topic 6. Communication Skills II:
Getting What you Want Without Nagging

Topic 7. Driving a Car Safely:
A Skill You CAN Acquire

Topic 8. Telephone Skills:
How to Hang Up?

Topic 9. Classic Footwear:
Wearing Shoes You Already Have

Topic 10. Oil and Petrol:
Your Car Needs Both

Of course! all this in good spirit.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Questions Galore

I read this somewhere and thought it fit to publish on the eve of 'International Women's Day.' It's all about men and what training inputs they require and what training courses they should undergo.

Topic 1. How to fill ice-cube trays.
Step by step with slide presentation.

Topic 2. Toilet paper rolls: do they grow on the holders?
Round-table discussion.

Topic 3. Differences between the laundry basket and the floor.
Pictures and explanatory graphics.

Topic 4. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right
place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.
Open forum.

Topic 5. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your
Graphics and audio tape.

Topic 6. Real men ask for directions when lost.
Real-life testimonials.

Topic 7. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel
Driving simulation.

Topic 8. Learning to live: basic differences between mother and wife.
Online class and role playing.

Topic 9. How to be the ideal shopping companion.
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

Topic 10. How to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays,
anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going to be late.
Cerebral shock therapy sessions

Happy Women's Day

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Pot calling the kettle black

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Here's what you do," said the Doctor,"stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he washing the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?" No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so, He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"
"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, PIZZA!"

Moral of the Story:
The problem may not be with the other one as we always think, could be very much within us..!