That's love

The story goes that a father punished his five year old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapper. The next day the father noticed a neatly packed gift box with the golden wrapper placed in his room with the words " I love you, Dad." The father was touched by his daughter's gesture and felt bad that he had scolded her.

However, he again became furious when he opened the box and noticed that the box was empty. The father felt that his daughter had played a trick on him, and, once again, reprimanded her. The daughter had tears in his eyes and said ' Daddy, the box is not empty. I blew kisses into it till it was full." The father was overwhelmed and hugged his daughter and felt sorry for what he had said.

An accident, some days later, took the life of the girl. It is told that the father kept the golden box by his bedside for the rest of his life. And whenever he was a little down, he would open the box and pick up an imaginary kiss and remember the love of his daughter.

In a very real sense each one of us have been given this golden box filled with love and kisses from our children, parents, friends and God. Can we treasure our box and fill their boxes too?

Happy New Year

I was reading a anecdote written by Bob Perks and thought it appropriate to start with my posts in the New Year.

"Time, faith and the love of my family and friends," he said. How wonderful. Somehow, from the moment we met, I knew we would connect. His response was perfect. His answer was mine.
It is that time of the year when we reflect back on accomplishments and failures. It is a wrapping up and an unfolding all in one.

The sentimental fool that I am keeps me deep in thought filling my days with mood swings easily compared to riding a roller coaster. Oddly, I love those ups and yes, even the downs. The happy thoughts remind me that life is good. The sad thoughts remind me that life is fragile. In the end I hope for more happy than sad, but still come out on top when the ball officially drops on New Year’s Eve, if I can at least find balance.

You may think this strange, too, when I say some of my best years turned out to be the years when I struggled, lost, failed and retreated into the darkness of that final night of the old year.
Job loss, car repossession, debt, divorce, a failed business, cancer in my family, death of loved ones, depression, all made life nearly unbearable. Still, the light of the new day, the new year, always seemed to be brighter than any other.
It was in falling down that I learned how to climb.
It was in losing that I learned how to win.
It was in struggling that I found strength.
It was in darkness that I learned to see again.
So, why was this man's response to me so perfect? This man had just lost his business. This man was struggling with finances, self-image, and hope. He was standing on the edge of a dismal past and desperately trying to see the possibilities in his future. Instead of dismissing everything as failure, he chose to acknowledge the most important parts.
I asked him, "If you could take something with you into the new year, what would it be?"
"Time, faith, the love of my family and friends," he said. "If I have time I can begin again. I can build again. I can start over. If I have faith, I know I cannot fail. If I have the love of my family and friends, I have purpose."

That's the spirit

My friend lost his father and his in laws, three of them, in a space of a year. The elderly were bed ridden for four long years and were looked after by my friend, his wife and two daughters. Despite their official routine and daily chores, they tended to the elderly and were at their beck and call. The last of the elderly passed away last week.

I went to offer condolences and to appreciate them for their grit and ‘never say die’ spirit. During the conversations we had, what appealed to me was the part the elderly had played in the bonding of the family. The two daughters in particular were sharing the various lessons learnt from their grand parents, and felt those spaces would never ever be filled again. The anecdotes, folk tales, mythological stories and life experiences taught to them by their grandparents would always remain etched in the children’s mind. They conceded they had matured so much in the last three years and learnt their lessons on care, love, responsibility and accountability. Having been through thick and thin in looking after the bed ridden elderly , the entire family had in just a few years grown so much in love and affection for each other. They are today, as I look at them, a more complete family.

My friend, his wife and their two daughters were in close embrace when the preparations for the last rites were on. They hugged each other, sobbing that the last of their dear ones was gone. I saluted them for their endurance as the van carrying the body tugged along. May the spirit of the ‘Ramakrishnan family’ be always alive.

Hospital Highlights

The last I visited a hospital was when my sister in law underwent a cataract operation. As it has always been in our family, the entire jing bang consisting of my brother, my wife, my niece, my sis in law(it was her operation), her brother, mother and sister were all there. I do not know whether it should be termed concern, moral support or simply ‘love’. Yes, in our family, we are always there for each other. Just the thought is so comforting. We have been brought up that way.

The whole process took over three hours including the post operation rest. This is about what I witnessed during the time I spent there. I had my camera which has become a necessary appendage. I clicked some snaps which I think are worth writing about.
The first of course was about a placard fixed to the hospital bed with the title ‘Starvation’. Why on earth would people come to a hospital and starve? My curiosity was so overwhelming that I chose to ask the nurse for an explanation for the title. What she told me was amazing. The bed was for patients who had to undergo tests for sugar in their blood and urine for which ‘fasting before the tests’ was essential. By Jeeve, I realized ‘starvation’ meant ‘fasting’.

Next was about a stuffed monkey toy with a string attached to a pulley. What is it about, I kept wondering. The nurse came to my rescue and said ‘this was brought by a patient who loved monkeys and till he was discharged he used to play with the toy monkey by pulling the string. Whoever passed that way pulled the string and the toy monkey went up and down which was a great source of amusement to one and all. I thought this was essential to provide succour and relief for patients.
In all that transpired, I keenly observed a gentleman who was supervising the house keeping operations. An ideal supervisor at that. A stickler to cleanliness, and was all the time ensuring that his people put in their day’s worth. Personally, he picked up the broom and demonstrated how work was to be done. He extracted enough and more work from his subordinates and was of the kind who would brook no nonsense. He was everywhere and had the agility of a deer. Such kind are very rare today and I was wonderstruck. I called him over and made enquiries.

He is Gajanan Govind Shetye, on contract with the hospital and with a missionary zeal. He had taken Voluntary Retirement from Mahindra and Mahindra after working as a Machine Operator for twenty years, and came to work at the hospital. He told me the work he did in the hospital was his calling in life and hence vowed that he would put in one hundred per cent. I saw him commanding a unique respect from all those present and his enthusiasm was infectious. He earned around five thousand per month and told me more than half of what he earned was given to the poor and needy who sought his assistance. He added that the Almighty up there was kind to him and he had no complaints in life. I was dumbstruck.

Resting in bed that night I was thinking about the toy monkey, and the supervisor, Gajanan, who in their own ways brought life to the hospital, and created an ever lasting impact on me and the people around.