Doling (Dollying) out my learning

My friend Dolly has been literally pestering me to write. Dolly is a great friend and difficult to say ‘No’ to someone who can harangue and harass you with love. Thanks to Dolly, I put pen to paper.

Was wondering what to write and I chanced upon some ruminations of my first job in the Corporate world. I finished my Masters in Labour Studies, and those days in 1981 we did not have a Placement Cell in our institute. One had to literally slug it on his own ….. cold calling and applying to corporates.

Those were the days in 1981, when jobs were scarce as compared to today where there is abundance. Joined an engineering Company as ‘Labour & Welfare Officer’ with high hopes and aspirations to make it big. Joined the HR Department and was assigned the role to look after Canteen, sports and recreation, labour administration, court cases and conduct meetings with the workmen. I was all starry eyed and full of energy and curiosity. I had my tasks set out and found the role very interesting. The learning phase is always. After a lapse of six months, the new clothes started fraying at their edges and things weren’t as milky and honey.

The Company’s Directors had serious difference of opinion which earlier to a starter like me was not apparent. The issues surfaced and many of them were with respect to siphoning of money, non payment or delayed payment of wages, an acute shortage of provisions in the canteen, and simmering unrest amongst workmen. Since my role consisted of conducting meetings with workmen, I was given the ominous task of convincing the workmen about payment of wages, and also about the shortage of provisions in the canteen, As time passed, there was acute delay in payment of wages extending to two/three months, and food was unavailable in the canteen for several days. 

I remember addressing the workmen in groups at the shop floor and attempting to convince them every other day that things will shape up. I remember the palpitations inside my young body and can still feel it.I remember coming up with novel justifications to ensure the status quo ante. I assuaged the feelings and anxieties of workmen so that they do not take aggressive stances which might end up in labour unrest situations like a strike or lock out.  I even requested them not to queer the pitch since any disturbance would be to their disadvantage.What was conveyed to me by the Company’s senior management, was being conveyed by me to the workmen at large. Things did not improve and I had to sing the same melancholic tune of scarcity and dearth of funds. But most of the times, I had to eat a humble pie and apologize because promises made to the ear were broken to the heart. These instances of apology became more a rule than an exception and I experienced dissatisfaction.

The starry eyed youth was disappointed and started finding it difficult to go through the everyday grind. Started wondering whether the right choice was made to join this company, but there was no other choice too. It was a typical case of ‘you do it you are damned, you don’t do it you are damned’.  At least that is what I thought then. Going to the factory became an ordeal and each day was filled with anxieties, threats, gheraos, noisy meetings with rising tempers and no light at the end of the tunnel. I cursed myself for this stupid decision to join this Company but saw no solution except trudging along. I started detesting each day at work and the frustrations were mounting. Yet I had to go through the daily grind of addressing the workmen on issues of non payment of wages, and most frustrating was non availability of breakfast and lunch. Imagine four hundred plus workmen suffering non payment of wages on an empty stomach. It was clear that the  Company’s efforts to turn around were slowly reaching a point of no return. Every moment was painful and thoughts of quitting employment were emerging. Yet there was a sense of guilt of leaving the workmen in the lurch especially for me who was christened as a Labour and Welfare Officer. 

Dilemmas and polarities loomed large in my mind. At one end of the dilemma spectrum was the guilt of shirking my responsibility and ditching the workmen who truly believed in me, and on the other my own helplessness to resolve the issue coupled with my self interest to progress in the chosen profession. It was clear to me that I had stopped learning and growing. The starry eyed young boy was desolate and desperate apparently sulking and feeling that his dreams are shattered.

Is it really the way that life works? Looking back and joining the dots, one is compelled to admit that those moments of anxieties and frustrations were really the moments one was growing. Those were the moments when the individual was churning out alternatives and building justifications to convince workmen that they do not resort to extreme steps which would have been self-destructive for them. These moments of desolation and desperation also equipped one to be calm, look at things from a distance and not loose one’s cool. One understood that being credible is necessary, and it is more about the individual’s attitude to deal with difficult situations, and that polarities and paradoxes are a part of life.

Yes, the personal learning and experience has been that difficult situations test character and build character, leave one more humble,  and definitely makes one more open and receptive to handle life’s challenges.