Sunday, June 6, 2010

Just like that

I was talking to a friend of mine last week and we met after a long time. As we exchanged nostalgic memories, we realized how beautiful our relationship had been, and somewhere in between we lost each other.

This led me to think how many such beautiful relationships we have had since childhood. Some bloomed, some did not take off. Often I have heard that relationships made in school or college are often the more lasting ones and it is difficult to build such strong relationships later in life. Somehow, I have always felt a little differently about such statements. I have had some wonderful relationships later on in life too. I treasure these and the intensity of such have equally been strong. I have always felt that these have been enduring because I have always invested a lot in them, and have given a lot to it. And I think this is true of all relationships in life at whatever stage in life they may happen.

I think the secret is to be selfless and put in all that you have. Those lovely moments of laughter, joy, sorrow, sharing, learning, pulling each others’ legs, and being with those friends fully at those moments is really what matters. Those never come back, sometimes those friends part away because of vocation, finding other interests or even finding better avenues and more interesting friends. But the moments spent together once upon a time can never ever be replicated because everything in life has a context, and contexts change.

Suddenly while writing, a thought passes me and that is ….. why do some relationships become etched and become a part of you while some just pass and thoughts come back only once in a while. I realize that in such relationships there are no expectations and it is two entities submerging into each other and becoming one - sans earthly explanation.

16 comments:

Sylvia K said...

Another wonderful and insightful post, Subba! I have been amazed that even at my age I've maintained contact with friends from high school. Our lives are very different now and we live in different parts of the country and most of them I haven't seen since high school. All along our lives pathway are those who shared a moment or many years and in some way enriched our lives. Have a lovely evening and a great week!

Sylvia

bobbie said...

I have just "found you" on Sylvia's sidebar, and am very pleased with what I have found. I turned to you first because my endocrinologist's name is Iyer.

I especially enjoyed your post on Buddha from last month.

This post today has me thinking of old friends. I have few left living, but some are so very dear.

Ugich Konitari said...

I can relate to this because of the Indian societal set up which includes the concept of "Maika" or maternal home, for those of us who are married.

So many relationships, friends, etc we make when we are single, sort of fade into the background as new ones happen once we are married.

But like an old tree , that stays verdant and flowering in an old garden around the house, whenever one visits the old abode, one enjoys the beauty and freshness of those old friendships...year after year.

The magic is in the co-existence...

RGB said...

True, some relationships are meant to be, and seem to last forever. After marriage, kids..though we make an effort to go out of our way visiting people, I find very few people reciprocating, bcoz they are "hardpressed for time, kids, parents...." and many such vague excuses. But I believe, if you really want to, you can.

This post makes me want to sing "Those were the days my friend...".

me ra said...

Loved this post too...very ture,
People come to our life for a season,

Some come for a reason....

and there are some for the lifetime...

syed ahamed saqi said...

Sir,

A very nice post sir. The relationships where everything is tacit, un-demanding remain long....

Saqi

Pearl said...

We moved, chronically, when I was a child; and so I cannot say that I have had friends since childhood.

I can, however, say that I've run into people who became immediate friends, people whom I "knew" immediately.

Now why is it that some people we love upon meeting, and others we reject in the very same way?

Pearl

Sonia said...

beautiful thought & so very tuue

TCGirivasan said...

A wonder post. Back with a Bang!!!

Anuradha said...

I too am with you on this one sir. Though i definitely don't have the kind of experience "outside of college and school" yet. I found my best friends and pals in school and college! But it is equally true that I have found friends at work too! And though everyone wanted me to believe that workplace would be the last place one where one would ever find friends, I was luckier! Though i worked for only 2 years before my MBA, i found good friends! Friends who are as close as any of my other friends! I think it also has a lot to do with one's ability to believe in the goodness of other people! Because with my experience so far, i can tell you, there's a lot of "untapped" love all around! :) Just need to accept it and welcome it into our lives! I cherish all the relationships I've had so far in my life, be it at home, work or school / college! And they've made my being worthwhile in a lot of ways!

Sushree said...

i could'nt agree more with you on this one sir! i concur with you that we make our bonds only when we give selflessly and do not expect anything back...this is so true :) my school teachers always warned us saying - 'u r now stepping into the big bad world. there is danger lurking at every corner esp regarding relations'. we were petrified - but touchwood i have been lucky with relations and friends - even at work. There have been times when i've been really hurt by 'friends' and i think those were the times i expected frm people. bottomline - do not expect from people - u will get more than u have given!

Gopal said...

Your sentiments about old friendship are true. Recently I was able to establish with a friend after about 25 years. Oh!! What changes in our lives during this interval!!!! Great to meet after a long interval. Good write-up indeed.

Gopal said...

Your sentiments about old friendship are true. Recently I was able to establish with a friend after about 25 years. Oh!! What changes in our lives during this interval!!!! Great to meet after a long interval. Good write-up indeed.

Me-Era* said...

Hey! I just did a lovely tag and would like to pass it on to you. :)

Visit: http://lavender-woman.blogspot.com/2010/07/just-talks-about-me-tag.html

Sridhar said...

Very true. Recently our 1971 ac,tech batch formed an yahoo group and are in touch.After a gap of about 30 years. Yet I had very good friends outside of school or college. I agree with you fully.

Samyukta said...

Sir, Superb post as usual...I felt so overwhelmed reading it...beautifully written!