Stone walls .....

During the course of a conversation with a colleague, the meaning assigned by us to ‘winning’, ‘achievement’, and ‘satisfaction’ was discussed. Various questions and answers were hotly debated.

A few significant points, though, surfaced. One of them was that the process was more satisfying than the end result. The other was the ‘being’ was more important than the ‘becoming.’ Shift in the ‘being’ was thought to bring in immense satisfaction, immaterial of the fact whether the individual won or lost.

What stayed in our minds, however, was there were times when we had ‘easy victories’ and sometimes ‘hard victories. The easy ones brought no satisfaction whereas those fought hard indeed did. It was also a fact that many a time we did lose after a hard fought battle, but the efforts still seemed to be worthwhile and there was immense satisfaction. So it was always not about ‘winning’, but about how much of our potential was tested. Thus if a situation presented challenges and drew out the best in us, we seemed to be on top of the world.

Finally, we thought it was not about winning or losing, but all about unleashing our best and competing against odds and also ourselves. As Randy Pausch said ‘Stone walls are there for a reason ….

Just like that

I was talking to a friend of mine last week and we met after a long time. As we exchanged nostalgic memories, we realized how beautiful our relationship had been, and somewhere in between we lost each other.

This led me to think how many such beautiful relationships we have had since childhood. Some bloomed, some did not take off. Often I have heard that relationships made in school or college are often the more lasting ones and it is difficult to build such strong relationships later in life. Somehow, I have always felt a little differently about such statements. I have had some wonderful relationships later on in life too. I treasure these and the intensity of such have equally been strong. I have always felt that these have been enduring because I have always invested a lot in them, and have given a lot to it. And I think this is true of all relationships in life at whatever stage in life they may happen.

I think the secret is to be selfless and put in all that you have. Those lovely moments of laughter, joy, sorrow, sharing, learning, pulling each others’ legs, and being with those friends fully at those moments is really what matters. Those never come back, sometimes those friends part away because of vocation, finding other interests or even finding better avenues and more interesting friends. But the moments spent together once upon a time can never ever be replicated because everything in life has a context, and contexts change.

Suddenly while writing, a thought passes me and that is ….. why do some relationships become etched and become a part of you while some just pass and thoughts come back only once in a while. I realize that in such relationships there are no expectations and it is two entities submerging into each other and becoming one - sans earthly explanation.

Time and tide never wait

I have been out of circulation for sometime. Some things small, some things big kept me away

I came across a very touching story. One for introspection, especially in the rat race that all of us have created for ourselves.

A little girl asks her father what he earned as salary per hour. The father thought it was not the right question to ask elders and he chided the child. The child naturally felt bad and ran away to her room. The father, probably on second thoughts, felt that there could be a reason for his child to ask the question. He went to the child's bedroom and found the child weeping. He asked the child for the reason and said ' I earn twenty pounds per hour.' He then found that the child had some money under the pillow and again questioned the child as to why she had hidden this money.

The child replied 'Dad, I have forty pounds with me which I have been saving. Can you give me two hours of your time? The father's eyes were full of tears and he hugged the child and profusely apologised.

Profound thought for introspection, indeed.

Peace or pieces (of mind)

I read this piece somewhere and thought I should pen this down.

Once when Buddha was walking from one town to another with a few of his followers, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha said to one of his disciples, "I am thirsty. Go and get me some water from that lake there."

The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that some people were washing clothes in the water, and right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake.

As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid. The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!" So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in the lake is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink."

After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake.
This time he found that the lake had absolutely clear water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said, "See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be, and the mud settled down on its own and then you got clear water. Your mind is also like that! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless."

I owe it to you, Guddu

I wonder many a time as to how I am happy, cheerful and full of mirth and joy. I am quintessentially someone who goes with the flow of life and never stuck too much with either pain or enjoy. I also have experienced that nothing seems to affect me too much and I have risen like a phoenix despite the downs, some sorrows, certain disappointments et al. Neither have I gotten anything too much to my head when I had small victories, appreciation, and pats on the back.

Looking back as years have gone by, I certainly feel the way I am, I owe it to those great human beings who brought me up - my parents. Several others have made their own contributions in lighting up my life. One important person who has walked with me hand in hand, loved me too deeply without any expectations, looked after me and my children every single day, and gone beyond what I can dream of is my 'loving wife - my partner through thick and thin.'

An extremely loving , caring and simple individual who has everyone before herself. I am unable to say more since words cannot describe my feelings. I have written this piece on our Silver Wedding Anniversary today to thank her for everything that she has been to me for the last twenty five years.

Thank you, Guddu!

Mummy Dear

I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.

Why do people drink so much, Mom?
It can ruin anyone's whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

Ask it the right way

It’s not just the choice of words but also the sequence of words that could make a huge difference towards your interests if used tactfully. Read on …

Jack and Max are walking for religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I smoke while I pray?"
The Priest replies, "No, my son, you may not! That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son, by all means. You can pray whenever you want to."

Moral of the story:
The reply you get depends on the questions you ask.