iyer-n-higher

SASTA PREETHI

2012-01-12T11:18:00.000-08:00

Lord Sasta, also popularly known as Lord Ayyappa is known to be the offspring of Shiva and Vishnu (as Mohini, in his female form) and is widely worshipped in Kerala. The most famous and well known shrine of Lord Sasta is the Sabarimala (mountain) situated at Kerala, India. Every year millions of people visit this shrine and seek the blessings of the Lord.

On 14th January every year, the Makara (Capricorn) star is shone on the sky, and a flickering flame (jyoti) appears on top of the neighboring hill, Kantha malai, and is considered to be celestial divine light. Devotees see this light as Lord incarnate and millions of people wait patiently to witness this beautiful sight.

At Mumbai (earlier Bombay), the Lord Sastha festival, known as Sasta Preethi is celebrated at several places. One of these, which I am writing about in this post is the Nurani Sasta festival which is being celebrated at Mumbai for the last 88years. Nurani, primarily is a small village in Palakkad, Kerala where this festival is being celebrated for long. Many of the people from Nurani who descended in Mumbai for a livelihood have been celebrating this festival at Mumbai to ensure the tradition is maintained.

The Sasta festival started in a place called Parel, Mumbai where most of the people from Nurani initially stayed as bachelors. Years later when most of them shifted to another locality in Mumbai named Matunga, the festival was celebrated at various halls namely Napoo Hall, Rambaug, Bhajana Samaj and finally at Asthika Samaj where it is being celebrated even today. The function consists of hymns (bhajans) being sung in the praise of the Lord to invoke his blessings. People in large numbers from distant places come for the festival which is held on the last Saturday of December or the first Saturday of January every year. Loud chants of ‘Saranam Ayyappa’ and ‘Sasta Saranam’ are heard, thus hailing the Lord for his bounty. People present their offerings to the Lord in the form of milk, coconuts, fruits and flowers.

Till the year 1991, at the end of the rituals, devotees were given neyappam/payasam (sweet preparations) as blessings from the Lord. In 1991, in remembrance of Shyamalam, brother of Dr. NS Doraiswamy), it was decided by Dr. Doraiswamy to serve food to all the devotees who came for the function.

This practice of serving lunch continued thereafter and even today the managing committee continues the practice of serving the devotees with delicious food which is a three course South Indian serving consisting of Sambhar, Rasam, Curd accompanied by rice and other side dishes. Payasam made of rice and milk and sugar/ jaggery is the favourite of one and all and is generally gormandized in true south Indian style( where the entire palm is covered with this delicacy and straight it goes into the mouth).

What a gastronomical delight this is? Proof of the pudding is in the eating. Till 1990, the festival was celebrated on Saturday evenings and since 1991, it is being celebrated on Saturday mornings. Around four hundred to five hundred people come for the pooja to invoke the blessings and partake in the afternoon lunch. Afternoon siesta is a must after getting drunk with DELICIOUS MOUTH WATERING PAYASAM and CHATACHATAYAM.

Another significant aspect of the celebration is the melodious singing of the bhajans (hymns) and some of the devotees are so much taken over by these bhajans that their whole body starts shaking and they lose themselves totally gripped due to their deep devotion. It is said that Lord Sasta appears to them and they get totally captivated by the Lord’s divine presence in them. Typically, this phenomenon has been happening to the family members of Late Capt. Chellappa and Kutty Mama. This year, Mani and Dorai of these families were totally gripped by the divinity of the Lord.

As is the case, there are always stalwarts who are behind the success and continuance of this festival which has been in existence for eighty eight long years. The pioneers were Nana Mama, Cheecha Mama, Chidambara Ayya, Paiyyan Mama, Appathorai Mama, Kutty Mama, Capt. Chellappa, NSV Iyer, Neelakandan mama, Natesan mama, Dr. Dorai, Sivarama Mama, Akka Konthai Mama, Keerai Ambi Mama, Kali Raasu, Aamu, Dr. Anand, and the like. The present committee has stalwarts like Ramani, Dr. Bharat, Seshan, Kuttan to name a few and they have been shouldering the responsibility with great élan. Kudos to these stalwarts for making this happen. If some names are missed out, it is unintentional and totally due to my ignorance. I am apologetic for errors of omission and commission.

This year the function was held on 7th January. The function, Sasta Preethi, as it is known, was always held on the same day both at Nurani, Pallakad, and at Mumbai. This year, however, a change was made and it has been decided that the Sasta Preethi at Mumbai will be held a week after the same is conducted at Nurani to facilitate people at both places to attend the functions. The function was a grand success this year and around four hundred people had attended the same.

Parashu a.k.a. Bhajji and Rajaram brought in the requisite energy and enthusiasm with their very presence and rendition of bhajans that proved to be the icing on the cake. Bhajji requires special mention since he left a special mark on the function and ensured that all of us present fully participated. We need more folks like Bhajji who can bring in this ‘infectious enthusiasm.’

Overall it was a grand festival and a day to remember. All of us were the recipients of Lord Sasta’s blessings, and I am sure that it would have spurred all those present to ensure that this festivity of Lord Sasta grows from strength to strength each coming year. I request all Nurani ites to send their comments and add details I have missed. Thanks.

SWAMIYE SARANAM AYYAPPA!!
DHARMA SASTA VE SARANAM!!

Christmas is about giving

2011-12-25T00:30:00.000-08:00

This is a season of giving.

Christians around the world pause to celebrate the birth of Christ, and the spirit of giving which is so gracefully embodied in that first Christmas almost 2,000 years ago.

It is a simple truth, even self-evident, yet magnificently profound and powerful. For life consists of giving. We are, each of us, unique, with our own contributions to make. At the same time, we are part of a greater whole. Giving is what keeps us connected. The more we give of ourselves, the more we strengthen our own unique aliveness. The gifts we give become part of the world around us, where they grow in value with each life they touch.

Anything that we truly and sincerely give, we will never lose.

True giving means giving of one's self. The physical object, if there is one, is merely a token. The essence of the gift is in the giving, in the expression of sincere love and caring. When you give a part of yourself, it is not gone, it is bigger and better than ever.

Giving is the most self-serving thing you can do.

And therein lies the beauty of life.

~ Ralph Marston

"Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts."

~ Janice Maeditere

Rising like the Phoenix

2011-12-19T10:38:00.000-08:00

My friend,Rohan,send me the following story on how a baby giraffe learns to walk. You may find it relevant to some of the turbulence you would have faced in your life sometimes!

Baby giraffes never go to a business school. But they learn a very important management lesson early in life. A lesson that all of us would do well to remember.

The birth of a baby giraffe is quite an earth-shaking event. The baby falls from its mother’s womb, some eight feet above the ground. It shrivels up and lies still, too weak to move.

The mother giraffe lovingly lowers her neck to kiss the baby giraffe. And then something incredible happens. She lifts her long leg and kicks the baby giraffe, sending it flying up in the air and tumbling down on the ground.

As the baby lies curled up, the mother kicks the baby again and again. Until the baby giraffe, still trembling and tired, pushes its limbs and for the first time learns to stand on its feet. Happy to see the baby standing on its own feet, the mother giraffe comes over and gives it yet another kick. The baby giraffe falls one more time, but now quickly recovers and stands up.

Mama Giraffe is delighted. She knows that her baby has learnt an important lesson:
Never mind how hard you fall, always remember to pick yourself up and get back on your feet.

Why does the mother giraffe do this? She knows that lions and leopards love giraffe meat. So unless the baby giraffe quickly learns to stand and run with the pack – it will have no chance of survival.

Most of us though are not quite as lucky as baby giraffes. No one teaches us to stand up every time we fall. When we fail, when we are down, we just give up.

No one kicks us out of our comfort zone to remind us that to survive and succeed, we need to learn to get back on our feet.

If you study the lives of successful people though, you will see a recurring pattern. Were they always successful in all they did? No.

Did success come to them quick and easy? No, You will find that the common streak running through their lives is their ability to stand up every time they fall. The ability of the baby giraffe!

The road to success is never an easy one. There are several obstacles, and you are bound to fall sooner or later. You will hit a road block, you will taste failure. But success lies in being able to get up every time you fall.May this story inspire you to come out wiser, stronger & shining from every fall.

Thanks to my student, Sangeeta, for pushing me to start posting on my blog.

IF By Rudyard Kipling

2011-11-19T11:45:00.000-08:00

This one by the great poet has always inspired me

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

The Law of the Garbage Truck™ by David J. Pollay

2011-10-29T10:38:00.000-07:00

How often do you let other people’s nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you’re the Terminator, you’re probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of your success is how quickly you can refocus on what’s important in your life. Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. And I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here’s what happened.

I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, the car skidded, the tires squealed, and at the very last moment our car stopped just one inch from the other car’s back-end.

I couldn’t believe it. But then I couldn’t believe what happened next. The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. How do I know? Ask any New Yorker, some words in New York come with a special face. And for emphasis, he threw in a one finger salute, as if his words were not enough.

But then here’s what really blew me away. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, “Why did you just do that!? This guy could have killed us!” And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, “The Law of the Garbage Truck™.” He said:

Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you.

So when someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Believe me. You’ll be happier.

So I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the street? It was then that I said, “I don’t want their garbage and I’m not going to spread it anymore.”

I began to see Garbage Trucks. Like in the movie “The Sixth Sense,” the little boy said, “I see Dead People.” Well now “I see Garbage Trucks.” I see the load they’re carrying. I see them coming to dump it. And like my taxi driver, I don’t take it personally; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.

One of my favourite football players of all time is Walter Payton. Every day on the football field, after being tackled, he would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground. He never dwelled on a hit. Payton was ready to make the next play his best. Over the years the best players from around the world in every sport have played this way: Tiger Woods, Nadia Comaneci, Muhammad Ali, Bjorn Borg, Chris Evert, Michael Jordan, and Pele are just some of those players. And the most inspiring leaders have lived this way: Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, Gandhi, and Martin Luther King.

See, Roy Baumeister, a psychology researcher from Florida State University, found in his extensive research that you remember bad things more often than good things in your life. You store the bad memories more easily, and you recall them more frequently.

So the odds are against you when a Garbage Truck comes your way. But when you follow The Law of the Garbage Truck™, you take back control of your life. You make room for the good by letting go of the bad.

The best leaders know that they have to be ready for their next meeting. The best sales people know that they have to be ready for their next client. And the best parents know that they have to be ready to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses, no matter how many garbage trucks they might have faced that day. All of us know that we have to be fully present, and at our best for the people we care about.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their lives.

What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by?

Here’s my bet: You’ll be happier.

You have a choice. Make it today.

Have a Garbage Free Day! ™

A Tale of Two Seas

2011-10-15T06:32:00.000-07:00

This story was sent by my friend, Rohan, and I liked the perspective which I am sharing.

Sitting in the Geography class in school, I remember how fascinated I was when we were being taught all about the Dead Sea. As you probably recall, the Dead Sea is really a Lake, not a sea (and as my Geography teacher pointed out, if you understood that, it would guarantee 4 marks in the term paper!) It’s so high in salt content that the human body can float easily. You can almost lie down and read a book! The salt in the Dead Sea is as high as 35% - almost 10 times the normal ocean water. And all that saltiness has meant that there is no life at all in the Dead Sea. No fish. No vegetation. No sea animals. Nothing lives in the Dead Sea.

And hence the name: Dead Sea.

While the Dead Sea has remained etched in my memory, I don't seem to recall learning about the Sea of Galilee in my school Geography lesson. So when I heard about the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea and the tale of the two seas - I was intrigued.

Turns out that the Sea of Galilee is just north of the Dead Sea. Both the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea receive their water from river Jordan. And yet, they are very, very different.

Unlike the Dead Sea, the Sea of Galilee is pretty, resplendent with rich, colorful marine life. There are lots of plants. And lots of fish too. In fact, the Sea of Galilee is home to over twenty different types of fishes.
Same region, same source of water, and yet while one sea is full of life, the other is dead. How come?

Here’s apparently why. The River Jordan flows into the Sea of Galilee and then flows out. The water simply passes through the Sea of Galilee in and then out - and that keeps the sea healthy and vibrant, teeming with marine life.

But the Dead Sea is so far below the mean sea level, that it has no outlet. The water flows in from the river Jordan, but does not flow out. There are no outlet streams. It is estimated that over 7 million tons of water evaporate from the Dead Sea every day. Leaving it salty. Too full of minerals. And unfit for any marine life.

The Dead Sea takes water from the River Jordan, and holds it. It does not give.

Result? No life at all.

Think about it.

Life is not just about getting. Its about giving. We all need to be a bit like the Sea of Galilee.

We are fortunate to get wealth, knowledge, love and respect. But if we don't learn to give, we could all end up like the Dead Sea. The love and the respect, the wealth and the knowledge could all evaporate. Like the water in the Dead Sea.

If we get the Dead Sea mentality of merely taking in more water, more money, more everything the results can be disastrous.

Good idea to make sure that in the sea of your own life, you have outlets. Many outlets. For love and wealth - and everything else that you get in your life. Make sure you don't just get, you give too.

Open the taps. And you'll open the floodgates to happiness. Make that a habit. To share. To give.

And experience life. Experience the magic!

That's how it is!

2011-09-22T03:36:00.000-07:00

A young man called Rama Swami died an untimely death.

They all happened to be disciples of a holy man whom they called 'Maharaj Ji'. His parents, wife and nine year old son were crying bitterly sitting next to his dead body. When Maharaj Ji learnt that Rama Swami had died, he came vo visit the family.
He entered the house and found the family wailing unconsolably. Seeing Maharaj Ji, the wife started crying even louder. She sobbed saying, "Maharaj Ji, he has died too early, he was so young... I'm so helpless and miserable."
Oh! I would do anything to make him alive again. What will happen to our son?

Maharaj Ji tried to pacify the crying lady and the old parents,
But the loss was too much for them to come to terms with so easily.
Eventually, Maharaj Ji said, "Alright, get me a glass of water."
Maharaj Ji sat near the dead body and put the glass next to it.
Rama Swami shall come back to life, but the person who drinks the water shall die

There was pin drop silence..!

He said, "Now, who ever wants that Rama Swami should become alive again, may drink this water. "Come, did you not say that Rama Swami was the sole bread winner of the family? Who would die instead of him? It is a case of fair exchange, isn't it?"

The wife looked at the old mother and the old mother looked at the wife. The old father looked at Rama Swami's son.
But no one came forward...

Then Maharaj Ji said to the old father, "Babuji, wouldn't you give your life for your son?" The old man said, "Well, I have my responsibility towards my wife. If I die who will look after her? I cannot offer my life."

Maharaj Ji asked the son, "Well little boy, would you like to give your life for your father?" The child's mother said "Maharaj Ji,are you insane?..My son is only nine. He has not yet lived his life." All others had their genuine reasons to present.

Maharaj Ji said, "Well it seems, that all of you are very much needed for the things you need to do in this world... It seems Rama Swami was the only one that could be spared... That is why God chose to take him away.

So shall we now proceed with his last rites?... It's getting late. Having said that, Maharaj Ji got up and left.

In the words of a learned man ... "We tend a plant only when the leaves are green; the rest are only memories of happy times..! Further, God has a great design for every individual human being, and they have their role to play in this game on earth."

... Have a Great Day ...

Flying creature in crystal river: Story of a messiah

2011-09-08T11:37:00.000-07:00

This piece is from “Illusions” – by Richard Bach

Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river.

The current of the river swept silently over them all – young and old, rich and poor, good and evil, the current going its own way knowing only its own crystal self.

Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had learned from birth.

But one creature said at last. “I am tired of clinging. Though I cannot see it with my eyes, I trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go, and let it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom.

The other creatures laughed and said: “Fool! Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumbled and smashed across the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom!”

But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks.

Yet in time, as the creature refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom and he was bruised no more.

And the creatures downstream, to whom he was a stranger, cried, “See a miracle! A creature like ourselves, yet he flies! See the Messiah, come to save us all!”

And the one carried in the current said. “I am no more Messiah than you. The river delights to lift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this adventure.”

But they cried the more, “Saviour!” all the while clinging to the rocks, and when they looked again, he was gone, and they were left alone making legends of a Saviour.”

Moral: “What you hold on to most dear will always hold you back!!”

Parable of Ups and Downs

2011-08-28T07:12:00.000-07:00

This is a parable by Dr. Robert Terry which was read out to us in a development programme. I am reproducing the same.

What makes an UP an UP and a DOWN a DOWN is that an UP can do more to a DOWN than a DOWN can do to an UP. That’s what keeps an UP UP and a DOWN DOWN. The UPS tend to talk to each other and study the DOWNS, asking the DOWNS about what’s UP, or what’s coming DOWN, for that matter. The DOWNS spend a lot of time taking the UPS out to lunch or dinner, to explain their DOWNNESS. The UPS listen attentively, often in amazement about the experiences of being a DOWN. They contrast one DOWN’S experience with another DOWN’S experience and usually don’t worry too much about what the DOWNS are UP to because the DOWNS never get together. If they did, the UPS would have to shape UP.

After a while, the DOWNS are weary of talking to the UPS. They tire of explaining and justifying their DOWNNESS. They think, “If I have to explain my DOWNNESS one more time, I’ll throw UP.” And so they form a process which they call “networking and support groups.” This act makes the UPS nervous. Three UPS together is a board meeting; three DOWNS - a pre-revolutionary activity! Some UPS hire DOWNS, dress them UP, send them DOWN to see what DOWNS are UP to. We sometimes call this “personnel and affirmative action.” This creates a serious problem for the DOWN who is dressed UP with no sure place to go. That DOWN doesn’t know whether he or she is UP or DOWN. That’s why DOWNS in the middle often burn out.

Sometimes what the UPS do to smarten UP is to ask the DOWNS to come in to a program one at a time to explain their DOWNNESS. UPS call this “human relations training.” OF course, the UPS never have to explain their UPNESS, that’s why they’re UPS rather than DOWNS.

There’s good news and bad news in this parable. The good news is, we’re all both UPS and DOWNS. There’s no such thing as a perfect UP or a perfect DOWN. The bad news is that when we’re UP it often makes us stupid. We call that “DUMB-UPNESS.” It’s not because UPS are not smart. It’s that UPS don’t have to pay attention to DOWNS the way that DOWNS have to pay attention to UPS. DOWNS always have to figure out what UPS are UP to. The only time UPS worry about DOWNS is when DOWNS get uppity, at which time they’re put DOWN by the UPS. The UPS’ perception is that DOWNS are overly sensitive; they have an attitude problem. It’s never understood that UPS are underly sensitive and have an attitude problem.

I used to think that when DOWNS became UPS they would carry over their insight from their DOWNNESS to their UPNESS. Not so. Smart DOWN—dumb UP.

The Power of Positive Talk

2011-08-22T07:55:00.000-07:00

An interesting article that I read some years ago.

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did fall. My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image.

In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!"

Naturally, I dropped the ball. My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career. Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary.

Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do. Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made. If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort?

You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar. If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."
People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism. These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children. Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction. So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, "I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue.

Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words. Notice when you or other people use them.

But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Try: Presupposes failure.
If: Presupposes that you may not.
Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.
Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)
Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

Examples:
Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: "Catch the ball!"

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: "I read too much television makes people slow.”

That's the power of positive talk.

My Mumbai

2011-08-13T12:15:00.000-07:00

Everyone talks of the spirit of the Mumbaites ( folks of Mumbai or erstwhile Bombay –the commercial capital of India). I, being one of them, would of course agree to the existence of this undying spirit, but not without asking a question ‘ Is it slowly dying, bit by bit?’

There is a bomb blast and the very next day, the city is back to its feet. It never comes to a grinding halt. But the question is ‘is there a choice at all?’ Folks come to Mumbai to eke out a living, and ‘necessity to work’ is all powerful and consuming.

But the other part that I have been observing recently, which really demystifies this undying spirit, is the intolerance observed in the day to day life. Road rage, impatience, quarrels, bickering, fights, fisticuffs and so on seem to be increasing by the day and the ‘live and let live’ accommodative spirit seems to be waning. Smiling faces, earlier seen, have turned to scowling, and externalising issues seem to be the order of the day. Reasons may be galore but what does Mumbai really need to do.

I am reminded of a mother who took her daughter to the departmental stores. The little girl saw some expensive toys and was uncontrollably weeping so that the mother buys the toys. The mother was heard saying ‘Jennifer, relax, Jenifer relax ….’ The girl continued weeping and the mother continued saying ‘ Jennifer, relax, Jennifer relax.’ Some others watching this asked the mother ‘Do you think, the child would understand whatever you are telling her …. after all she is small?’. The mother replied ‘ I am not talking to the child. My name is Jennifer.’

So Mumbai, revive the spirit and say ‘Just relax, just relax.’

Eating the cookie

2011-08-09T11:50:00.000-07:00

Eating the Cookie is a piece written by Rachel Naomi Remen. A beautiful piece that leaves one thinking. I am sharing this with my readers.

One of my patients, a successful businessman, tells me that before his cancer he would become depressed unless things went a certain way. Happiness was "having the cookie." If you had the cookie, things were good. If you didn't have the cookie, life wasn't worth a damn. Unfortunately, the cookie kept changing. Some of the time it was money, sometimes power, sometimes sex. At other times, it was the new car, the biggest contract, the most prestigious address.

A year and a half after his diagnosis of prostate cancer he sits shaking his head ruefully. "It's like I stopped learning how to live after I was a kid. When I give my son a cookie, he is happy. If I take the cookie away or it breaks, he is unhappy. But he is two and a half and I am forty-three. It's taken me this long to understand that the cookie will never make me happy for long. The minute you have the cookie it starts to crumble or you start to worry about it crumbling or about someone trying to take it away from you. You know, you have to give up a lot of things to take care of the cookie, to keep it from crumbling and be sure that no one takes it away from you. You may not even get a chance to eat it because you are so busy just trying not to lose it. Having the cookie is not what life is about."

My patient laughs and says cancer has changed him. For the first time he is happy. No matter if his business is doing well or not, no matter if he wins or loses at golf. "Two years ago, cancer asked me, 'Okay, what's important? What is really important?' Well, life is important. Life. Life, any way you can have it. Life with the cookie. Life without the cookie. Happiness does not have anything to do with the cookie, it has to do with being alive. Before, who made the time?" He pauses thoughtfully. "Damn, I guess life is the cookie."

That's love

2011-08-03T11:26:00.000-07:00

The story goes that a father punished his five year old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapper. The next day the father noticed a neatly packed gift box with the golden wrapper placed in his room with the words " I love you, Dad." The father was touched by his daughter's gesture and felt bad that he had scolded her.

However, he again became furious when he opened the box and noticed that the box was empty. The father felt that his daughter had played a trick on him, and, once again, reprimanded her. The daughter had tears in his eyes and said ' Daddy, the box is not empty. I blew kisses into it till it was full." The father was overwhelmed and hugged his daughter and felt sorry for what he had said.

An accident, some days later, took the life of the girl. It is told that the father kept the golden box by his bedside for the rest of his life. And whenever he was a little down, he would open the box and pick up an imaginary kiss and remember the love of his daughter.

In a very real sense each one of us have been given this golden box filled with love and kisses from our children, parents, friends and God. Can we treasure our box and fill their boxes too?

Simple and small

2011-07-31T06:13:00.000-07:00

All of us have a responsibility to make our lives interesting. If not, who else will?
My personal observation has been that a lot of interesting things happen in our daily lives through conversations.

I remember a few anecdotes of the recent past and thought I will pen them down.

I was having a tele conversation with my son and told him that I visited the Brahma (The Creator) temple at Pushkar. His immediate reaction was “ Dad, did you thank him for creating a wonderful son like me?” Both of us had a hearty laugh.

My wife is very particular about the timings of the arrival and departure of the flights that I take, and many a time she has even informed me about the delayed timings of the flight that I am supposed to take. The moment I land at any destination – she would be on call with me because she would have found out the exact time that the flight had landed. Last week when she called me the moment I landed at Mumbai, I told her “ Knowing you, I am sure you must be aware of the name of the pilot and the crew too.” Both of us had a hearty laugh.

My daughter usually gets up late in the morning by which time both my son and I would have left the house for our daily chores. One such day I asked her a naughty question to pull her legs “ Do you know when both of us left this morning?” She was too smart for me and answered “ What a stupid question? I don’t dream about both of you.” Both of us had a hearty laugh.

One day morning I left my house in a huff for office, slightly angry with my wife. It is she who ensures on a daily basis that my pen, wallet, handkerchief and belt are all in place for me. After I reached office, she called me and told me ‘Ensure that your pants don’t come down.” I realized I had forgotten to wear my belt. Both of us had a hearty laugh.

Simple and small, but they say it all. Such conversations cheer us and life continues.

Teacher

2011-07-03T07:49:00.000-07:00

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life.
One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued,
"What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"

To stress his point he said to another guest;
"You're a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?"

Teacher Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied,
"You want to know what I make?
(She paused for a second, then began...)

"Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.

I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor winner.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't
make them sit for 5 min. without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental.

You want to know what I make?
(She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table)

I make kids wonder.

I make them question.

I make them apologize and mean it.

I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions.

I teach them how to write and then I make them write.
Keyboarding isn't everything.

I make them read, read, read.

I make them show all their work in math.
They use their God given brain, not the man-made calculator.

I make my students from other countries learn everything they need
to know about English while preserving their unique cultural identity.

I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe.

Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they
were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life

( Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.)

Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn't everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant. You want to know what I make?

I MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN ALL YOUR LIVES,EDUCATING KIDS AND PREPARING THEM TO BECOME CEO's ,AND DOCTORS AND ENGINEERS..........

Giving!

2011-06-27T05:43:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine named Paul received an automobile from his brother as a Christmas present. On Christmas Eve when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it. "Is this your car, Mister?" he asked.

Paul nodded. "My brother gave it to me for Christmas." The boy was astounded. "You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn't cost you anything? Boy, I wish ..." He hesitated.

Of course Paul knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish he had a brother like that. But what the lad said jarred Paul all the way down to his heels.

"I wish," the boy went on, "that I could be a brother like that."

Paul looked at the boy in astonishment, then impulsively he added, "Would you like to take a ride in my automobile?"

"Oh yes, I'd love that."

After a short ride, the boy turned and with his eyes aglow, said, "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?"

Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad wanted. He wanted to show his neighbors that he could ride home in a big automobile. But Paul was wrong again. "Will you stop where those two steps are?" the boy asked.

He ran up the steps. Then in a little while Paul heard him coming back, but he was not coming fast. He was carrying his little crippled brother. He sat him down on the bottom step, then sort of squeezed up against him and pointed to the car.

"There she is, Buddy, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to him for Christmas and it didn't cost him a cent. And some day I'm gonna give you one just like it ... then you can see for yourself all the pretty things in the Christmas windows that I've been trying to tell you about."

Paul got out and lifted the lad to the front seat of his car. The shining-eyed older brother climbed in beside him and the three of them began a memorable holiday ride.

That Christmas Eve, Paul learned what "It is more blessed to give..." means!

Positioning

2011-05-23T07:20:00.000-07:00

Deng Ming-Dao writing appealed to me and I thought I should share.

Heron stands in the blue estuary, Solitary, white, unmoving for hours. A fish! Quick avian darting; The prey is captured.

People always ask how to follow Tao. It is as easy and natural as the heron standing in the water. The bird moves when it must; it does not move when stillness is appropriate.

The secret of its serenity is a type of vigilance, a contemplative state. The heron is not in mere dumbness or sleep. It knows a lucid stillness. It stands unmoving in the flow of the water. It gazes unperturbed and is aware. When Tao brings it something that it needs, it seizes the opportunity without hesitation or deliberation. Then it goes back to its quiescence without disturbing itself or its surroundings. Unless it found the right position in the water's flow and remained patient, it would not have succeeded.

Actions in life can be reduced to two factors; positioning and timing. If we are not in the right place at the right time, we cannot possibly take advantage of what life has to offer us.

Almost anything is appropriate if an action is in accord with the time and place. But we must be vigilant and prepared. Even if the time and the place are right, we can still miss our chance if we do not notice the moment, if we act inadequately, or if we hamper ourselves with doubts and second thoughts.

When life presents an opportunity, we must be ready to sieze it without hesitation or inhibition. Position is useless without awareness. If we have both, we make no mistakes.

Hmmmm - How beautiful??

2011-04-04T06:02:00.000-07:00

It has been cricket fever throughout the world, more so in India. Cricket is played in every by lane, and for the last one month in every one’s mind and heart. India really played well - first beating Australia, then the die hard Pakistan team, and finally Sri Lanka - a great final(e) and dream come true. At office as everywhere it was always intense and animated discussions on cricket.

Discussions were on how Sachin, Yuvaraj and Zaheer played and also on how some others did not play. Praises followed by criticisms and suggestions were all one could hear. Many of us armchair critics responded to the happenings on the field with great élan coupled with little knowledge on how is at the centre stage with the whole world watching. But that’s what it is in this cricket loving country where cricket is almost a belief and a faith.

Here we were at office discussing the semi finals between India and Pakistan, and Sachin had just got out at 85. Disappointment looming large in everyone’s face, talk centred around what would happen in this crucial match and what fate had in store for India. The discussions turned so animated that many of us talked about how even being in a good position –‘ India had the ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory’, others were critical of Sachin’s shot, some others on how Dhoni was out of form and still some others of the impending defeat. Tempers were rising, and someone lamented as to how we could lose to Pakistan.

There was this young girl at my office called Pradnya who was listening to the conversations, and smiling at all of us. I was intrigued by her nonchalant look and remarked ‘ What Pradnya, what has Sachin done and what’s happening?’ Her reply left me blinking but more insightful. Admittedly, I became wiser and enjoyed the world cup final much more than I would have. Thanks, Pradnya for your wise words - 'After all it is a game, Sir.'

My uncle - my Appapa

2011-02-20T10:17:00.000-08:00

An era of two sisters and two brothers has come to an end. The last of them, my uncle, breathed his last yesterday.

A very simple soul, who lived life straight from the heart and what he perceived things as. He operated life based on a set of values and principles dear to him, and rebelled against anything he thought was unfair. Simple as he was, he had very clear distinctions of right' and 'wrong.' Reflecting on how he lived, I have learnt a lesson that 'life is simple, but individuals make it complex.'

My uncle was a very affectionate, caring and loving human being with no malice at heart. Life was every moment to him, and his dealing with these bore a direct corelation to what his mind and heart dictated then. He would yell at me and spank me if he found me mischevous. But all that disappeared the next moment and he would shower me with chocolates or take me for a movie. I remember he had taken me for a basket ball match when someone pushed me. He was up in arms protecting his nephew. Spontaneity came naturally to him and that is who he was.

Though eighty, he lived life as if he was eighteen. Nothing unduly bothered him and he had the natural penchant to take things in his stride and see life as a sequence of events happening one after another. His love was shown through his anger, and all of us accepted him the way he was since he had no hidden agenda. He had a large circle of friends and was involved in a lot of social, educational and religious activities. As a mark of respect and condoning his death, the educational institution of which he was a founder has decided to close the school for a day.

All of us will truly miss him. While bidding good bye, he has passed on the baton to all of us to continue the rich traditions and values that he and his brothers and sisters espoused. I can only on behalf of the entire family assure him that we will leave no stones unturned to continue lighting the flaming torch. That, I guess, will be a true tribute to him. I will personally miss you, Appapa.

May his Soul rest in peace.

Child is the father of man

2011-02-15T10:02:00.000-08:00

A little girl walked daily to and from school. Though the weather this particular morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her trek to the elementary school. As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning.

The child's mother, concerned that her daughter would be frightened and possibly harmed by the storm got into her car and drove along the route to her child's school.
As she did so, she saw her little daughter walking along happily but at each flash of lightning the child would stop, look up, and smile.

Stopping the car, the mother called to the child to get in with her. As they drove toward school, the girl continued to turn toward each lightning flash and smile.
The Mother asked, "What are you doing?"
The child answered, "Well, I must do this, God keeps taking pictures of me."

Its how you look at things ...

2011-01-23T05:43:00.000-08:00

Once an unhappy young man came to an old master and told he was very sad and asked for a solution. The old Master instructed the unhappy young man to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it. "How does it taste?" the Master asked. "Awful," spat the apprentice. The Master chuckled and then asked the young man to take another handful of salt and put it in the lake.

Thereafter the two walked in silence to the nearby lake and when the apprentice swirled his handful of salt into the lake, the old man said, "Now drink from the lake."
As the water dripped down the young man's chin, the Master asked, "How does it taste?" "Good!" remarked the apprentice. "Do you taste the salt?" asked the Master.
"No," said the young man.

The Master sat beside this troubled young man, took his hands, and said, "The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount we taste the 'pain' depends on the container we put it into. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things... Stop being a glass. Become a lake!"

Giving ourselves wings ......

2011-01-20T01:43:00.000-08:00

Here is an interesting story my friend Sridhar sent to me and I thought of sharing this with you.

Once there was a king who received a gift of two magnificent falcons
from Arabia. They were peregrine falcons, the most beautiful birds he
had ever seen. He gave the precious birds to his head falconer to be
trained.

Months passed by and one day the head falconer informed the king that
though one of the falcons was flying majestically, soaring high in the
sky, the other bird had not moved from its branch since the day it had
arrived.

The king summoned healers and sorcerers from all the land to tend to
the falcon, but no one could make the bird fly. He presented the task
to the member of his court, but the next day, the king saw through the
palace window that the bird had still not moved from its perch. Having
tried everything else, the king thought to himself, "May be I need
someone more familiar with the countryside to understand the nature of
this problem." So he cried out to his court, "Go and get a farmer." In
the morning, the king was thrilled to see the falcon soaring high
above the palace gardens. He said to his court, "Bring me the doer of
this miracle." The court quickly located the farmer, who came and
stood before the king. The king asked him, "How did you make the
falcon fly?" With his head bowed, the farmer said to the king, " It
was very easy, your highness. I simply cut the branch where the bird
was sitting."

We are all made to fly -- to realize our incredible potential as human
beings. But instead of doing that, we sit on our branches, clinging to
the things that are familiar to us. The possibilities are endless, but
these remain undiscovered. One conforms to the familiar,
the comfortable, the mundane. Life then tends to be
mediocre instead of exciting, thrilling and fulfilling.

Moral of the story, thus, is to destroy the branch of fear we cling to and free ourselves to the glory of flight.

Story Telling

2011-01-08T10:53:00.000-08:00

There was once a disciple of a great teacher. Day after day the disciple would sit at the feet of his teacher listening to his instruction. Many people would come to visit and inevitably the teacher would engage them by telling a story.

One day the disciple asked; "Guruji, why do you engage people by means of stories? Why don't you just give them your teaching straight out?"
The Guru answered: "Bring me some water."

Now the disciple knew his teacher to be a very formal and disciplined man. He had never asked for water at this time of the day. Nevertheless, he went immediately to fetch it. Taking a clean brass water pot from the ashram kitchen, the disciple went to the well, filled the pot with water and returned. He offered it to his teacher.

The Guru asked"Why have you brought me a pot when I asked only for water?"

Happy New Year

2011-01-02T05:37:00.000-08:00

I was reading a anecdote written by Bob Perks and thought it appropriate to start with my posts in the New Year.

"Time, faith and the love of my family and friends," he said. How wonderful. Somehow, from the moment we met, I knew we would connect. His response was perfect. His answer was mine.
It is that time of the year when we reflect back on accomplishments and failures. It is a wrapping up and an unfolding all in one.

The sentimental fool that I am keeps me deep in thought filling my days with mood swings easily compared to riding a roller coaster. Oddly, I love those ups and yes, even the downs. The happy thoughts remind me that life is good. The sad thoughts remind me that life is fragile. In the end I hope for more happy than sad, but still come out on top when the ball officially drops on New Year’s Eve, if I can at least find balance.

You may think this strange, too, when I say some of my best years turned out to be the years when I struggled, lost, failed and retreated into the darkness of that final night of the old year.
Job loss, car repossession, debt, divorce, a failed business, cancer in my family, death of loved ones, depression, all made life nearly unbearable. Still, the light of the new day, the new year, always seemed to be brighter than any other.
It was in falling down that I learned how to climb.
It was in losing that I learned how to win.
It was in struggling that I found strength.
It was in darkness that I learned to see again.
So, why was this man's response to me so perfect? This man had just lost his business. This man was struggling with finances, self-image, and hope. He was standing on the edge of a dismal past and desperately trying to see the possibilities in his future. Instead of dismissing everything as failure, he chose to acknowledge the most important parts.
I asked him, "If you could take something with you into the new year, what would it be?"
"Time, faith, the love of my family and friends," he said. "If I have time I can begin again. I can build again. I can start over. If I have faith, I know I cannot fail. If I have the love of my family and friends, I have purpose."

The Seed

2010-11-13T22:32:00.000-08:00

A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together. He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you.

"The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO." One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Weeks went by, nothing grew. By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure. Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues. He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - he so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, and a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives. Jim just tried to hide behind. "My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!" All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!" When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed - Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer! His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed.

"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said. Then the CEO replied, "One year ago this day, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow. All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who needs to be commended!"

* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.
* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment.
* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective.
* If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.
* If you plant faith in God , you will reap a harvest.

So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later. "Whatever You Give To Life, Life Gives You Back"

Unseen Hand

2010-11-08T03:38:00.000-08:00

My brother was traveling with his family in a car from Delhi to Suraj Khand situated in the northern part of India. It was around 8 pm as they entered a forest path surrounded by a deep valley. There were no street lights and he was blinded by the headlights of the oncoming vehicles. He swerved at a certain bend to avoid collision and his car came to a screeching halt but precariously positioned overlooking the valley.

All of them inside the car were petrified and were wondering whether to get out or not, since any slight movement would tilt the balance. My brother decided to get out , aware of the risk, since something had to be done. He managed to come out and looked around for help to shift the car. From no where a huge burly man came and pushed the car to safety and disappeared. My brother wanted to thank him and called out … but of no avail. He was gone.

Another incident ….. It was a rainy day in Mumbai and the streets were completely flooded. My young daughter was wading through the water with her school bag on her head and to her dismay found that the water level had literally reached her neck. She was in tears and was imagining the worst. She suddenly noticed that an uncle came from behind, lifted her and left her in the foot path to safety. She turned back to thank the uncle. There was no uncle. She looked everywhere but there was no trace of the good Samaritan.

What else can these be attributed to, except the unseen hand of the DIVINE.

Hut is burning

2010-11-02T11:07:00.000-07:00

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.

Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions.

But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened and everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger. "God, how could you do this to me?" he cried.

Early the next day, however, he was wakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the
island. It had come to rescue him. "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

It's easy to get discouraged sometimes when things appear to be going badly. But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering.

Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground, it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God. For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has positive answer for it. Pass this on, you never know whose life may be in need of this
today. Believe me, there are some weeks that we all feel our huts are burning.

In laws or Out laws

2010-10-30T11:42:00.000-07:00

Recently, I had been to a clinic for my wife’s cataract surgery. Wife was a little tensed considering this was the first time in her life, she was being exposed to the surgeon’s knife. Oh! that’s rhyming – wife and knife, and both are sharp and cutting. I am taking the liberty since she can’t read at present what is being scribbled.

Now for the high drama at the clinic. An old lady was being escorted home after the surgery. We were in the reception and we saw the lady fall (plonk) down. Phew! She was accompanied by her husband, equally old, and her two daughter in laws (DIL’s). Efforts to pick her up were in vain since it was just not possible for the husband to do so alone. The DIL’s were mere spectators, and I was confident - it was intentional. The nurses and the doctors were summoned by the husband for the rescue act, and one of the DIL’s was busy chatting with a friend of hers. My mom in law (MIL) and I looked more concerned and lent a helping hand but were shooed away by the Durga Mata (Hindu Goddess who killed the demon) stares of the DIL’s.

The doctors rebuked the family for not following instructions .The old lady required rest, post anesthesia. Tring, tring …. the mobile rang and, once again, the DIL was at it explaining endlessly her helplessness to attend a kitty party that afternoon. More amusement followed. The mobile of the other DIL rang, and Gosh!, she was a super brat. Very much in her own world, she was talking about a recent hit song “Munni badnaam hui, darling tere liye”, and nearby in the sofa was the old lady with her head spinning. Looking at the happenings, I was too sure that one won’t require anesthesia with such DIL’s around.

My MIL was smiling, probably proud of her priced possession, her well behaved son in law. One good act deserves another. So I made a mental note that I should at least lift my MIL when she falls down.

Now I have to be careful about two people not reading this – my wife and my mother in law.

When insults had class - II

2010-10-21T09:15:00.000-07:00

Some more for one's reading pleasure.

·'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.' - Mark Twain
·'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.' - Oscar Wilde
·'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one.' - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill'. Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.' - Winston Churchill, in response.
·'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.' - Stephen Bishop
·'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.' - John Bright
·'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.' - Irvin S. Cobb
.'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.' - Samuel Johnson
·'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.' - Paul Keating
.'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.' Jack E. Leonard
·'He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.' - Robert Redford
·'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.' - Thomas Brackett Reed
·'In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.' - Charles, Count Talleyrand.
·'He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.' - Forrest Tucker
·'Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?' - Mark Twain
·'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.' - Mae West ·'
.'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.' - Oscar Wilde
·'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. . for support rather than illumination. ' - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
·'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.' - Billy Wilder
·'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.' - Groucho Marx
.'Difference between " an accident " and " a calamity" - 'If my friend William Gladstone falls into river Thames, it's "an accident"; If he is rescued and survives, that'll be "a Calamity" for England' ! by Benjamin Disraeli

WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS - I

2010-10-15T12:22:00.000-07:00

When Insults had class. These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued....unlike now, where the art of the put-down and the come-back has been reduced to primarily questioning parentage and responding with descriptors of common bodily functions!
Have fun.

The exchange between Churchill &Lady Astor: She said, 'If you were my husband I'd give you poison,' and he said, 'If you were my wife, I'd gladly drink it.'
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.' 'That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.'
'He had delusions of adequacy.' - Walter Kerr
'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.' - Winston Churchill
'A modest little person, with much to be modest about.' - Winston Churchill
'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.' Clarence Darrow
'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.' - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?' - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.' - Moses Hadas
'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.' - Abraham Lincoln

Acknowledgment

2010-09-30T10:26:00.000-07:00

My blog shows that I have one hundred one followers. When I look back , I see no one.

My life has been such and whenever I have looked back, I have seen no one. But through all these, I am sure someone has been leading me from behind because left to myself I shudder I can't do anything alone. Unseen but the divine presence felt - leading me for so long. It's time for thanks giving.

A quote I read recently by Shakti Gawain:

The universe is unfolding perfectly

I don't have to hang on

I can relax and let go

I can go with the flow

I always have everything I need

I have all the love within my own heart

Divine love is guiding me and I am always taken care of

The universe always provides.

"Sugar" and 'Guilt" free

2010-09-26T08:14:00.001-07:00

The conversations on watching weight and reducing calorie intake will last as long as this world lasts. It forms part of everyday conversations everywhere, and also the source of many new year resolutions.

I remember an obese woman asking her doctor about the easiest way to shed excess weight. The doctor replied ' Turn your face from left to right, and right to left ......... .' The woman interrupted the doctor saying she never knew it was so easy. The doctor added ' Turn your face from left to right, and right to left when some one offers you french fries, pizzas and sweets.'

Recently, I was amazed to see some exhibits put up in a sweets shop. Vendors have a way of understanding people and appealing to their senses. They entice us with the array of sweets nicely dressed up and placed in the show case, and also ensure that we relish it without any guilt. I liked these exhibits since they ensure that the mind is guilt free and provide enough justification for the sweet toothed to feast themselves.

Calorie free, sugar free and guilt free - what else could one ask for. Looking at these exhibits, my wife promptly ordered one kilo of sweets and gave a contented look.

In the ultimate analysis, life is all about building strong internal convictions to continue to do what we like.

Some perspective

2010-09-22T08:40:00.000-07:00

I have been out of the blog space for more than a month due to jaundice. My enthusiasm is back and hope to be more frequent as before. Read this somewhere and thought I will get going>

One day , the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip , the father asked his son , "How was the trip?"

"It was great , Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah , " said the son.

"So, tell me , what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us , but they serve others. We buy our food , but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us , they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added , "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Appreciate every single thing you have. These are your blessings.

Stone walls .....

2010-07-26T10:05:00.000-07:00

During the course of a conversation with a colleague, the meaning assigned by us to ‘winning’, ‘achievement’, and ‘satisfaction’ was discussed. Various questions and answers were hotly debated.

A few significant points, though, surfaced. One of them was that the process was more satisfying than the end result. The other was the ‘being’ was more important than the ‘becoming.’ Shift in the ‘being’ was thought to bring in immense satisfaction, immaterial of the fact whether the individual won or lost.

What stayed in our minds, however, was there were times when we had ‘easy victories’ and sometimes ‘hard victories. The easy ones brought no satisfaction whereas those fought hard indeed did. It was also a fact that many a time we did lose after a hard fought battle, but the efforts still seemed to be worthwhile and there was immense satisfaction. So it was always not about ‘winning’, but about how much of our potential was tested. Thus if a situation presented challenges and drew out the best in us, we seemed to be on top of the world.

Finally, we thought it was not about winning or losing, but all about unleashing our best and competing against odds and also ourselves. As Randy Pausch said ‘Stone walls are there for a reason ….

Just like that

2010-06-06T10:20:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a friend of mine last week and we met after a long time. As we exchanged nostalgic memories, we realized how beautiful our relationship had been, and somewhere in between we lost each other.

This led me to think how many such beautiful relationships we have had since childhood. Some bloomed, some did not take off. Often I have heard that relationships made in school or college are often the more lasting ones and it is difficult to build such strong relationships later in life. Somehow, I have always felt a little differently about such statements. I have had some wonderful relationships later on in life too. I treasure these and the intensity of such have equally been strong. I have always felt that these have been enduring because I have always invested a lot in them, and have given a lot to it. And I think this is true of all relationships in life at whatever stage in life they may happen.

I think the secret is to be selfless and put in all that you have. Those lovely moments of laughter, joy, sorrow, sharing, learning, pulling each others’ legs, and being with those friends fully at those moments is really what matters. Those never come back, sometimes those friends part away because of vocation, finding other interests or even finding better avenues and more interesting friends. But the moments spent together once upon a time can never ever be replicated because everything in life has a context, and contexts change.

Suddenly while writing, a thought passes me and that is ….. why do some relationships become etched and become a part of you while some just pass and thoughts come back only once in a while. I realize that in such relationships there are no expectations and it is two entities submerging into each other and becoming one - sans earthly explanation.

Time and tide never wait

2010-05-23T04:58:00.000-07:00

I have been out of circulation for sometime. Some things small, some things big kept me away

I came across a very touching story. One for introspection, especially in the rat race that all of us have created for ourselves.

A little girl asks her father what he earned as salary per hour. The father thought it was not the right question to ask elders and he chided the child. The child naturally felt bad and ran away to her room. The father, probably on second thoughts, felt that there could be a reason for his child to ask the question. He went to the child's bedroom and found the child weeping. He asked the child for the reason and said ' I earn twenty pounds per hour.' He then found that the child had some money under the pillow and again questioned the child as to why she had hidden this money.

The child replied 'Dad, I have forty pounds with me which I have been saving. Can you give me two hours of your time? The father's eyes were full of tears and he hugged the child and profusely apologised.

Profound thought for introspection, indeed.

Peace or pieces (of mind)

2010-04-29T03:00:00.000-07:00

I read this piece somewhere and thought I should pen this down.

Once when Buddha was walking from one town to another with a few of his followers, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha said to one of his disciples, "I am thirsty. Go and get me some water from that lake there."

The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that some people were washing clothes in the water, and right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake.

As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid. The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!" So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in the lake is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink."

After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake.
This time he found that the lake had absolutely clear water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said, "See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be, and the mud settled down on its own and then you got clear water. Your mind is also like that! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless."

I owe it to you, Guddu

2010-04-23T01:27:00.000-07:00

I wonder many a time as to how I am happy, cheerful and full of mirth and joy. I am quintessentially someone who goes with the flow of life and never stuck too much with either pain or enjoy. I also have experienced that nothing seems to affect me too much and I have risen like a phoenix despite the downs, some sorrows, certain disappointments et al. Neither have I gotten anything too much to my head when I had small victories, appreciation, and pats on the back.

Looking back as years have gone by, I certainly feel the way I am, I owe it to those great human beings who brought me up - my parents. Several others have made their own contributions in lighting up my life. One important person who has walked with me hand in hand, loved me too deeply without any expectations, looked after me and my children every single day, and gone beyond what I can dream of is my 'loving wife - my partner through thick and thin.'

An extremely loving , caring and simple individual who has everyone before herself. I am unable to say more since words cannot describe my feelings. I have written this piece on our Silver Wedding Anniversary today to thank her for everything that she has been to me for the last twenty five years.

Thank you, Guddu!

Mummy Dear

2010-04-17T06:22:00.000-07:00

I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.

Why do people drink so much, Mom?
It can ruin anyone's whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

Ask it the right way

2010-04-05T03:03:00.000-07:00

It’s not just the choice of words but also the sequence of words that could make a huge difference towards your interests if used tactfully. Read on …

Jack and Max are walking for religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I smoke while I pray?"
The Priest replies, "No, my son, you may not! That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son, by all means. You can pray whenever you want to."

Moral of the story:
The reply you get depends on the questions you ask.

Who's minding the store?

2010-03-29T08:25:00.000-07:00

A little boy went into a drug store, reached the telephone, climbed on to the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone number). The store-owner looked at the boy and listened to the conversation.

Boy: "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?"
Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): "I already have someone to cut my lawn."
Boy: "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now."
Woman: "I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.Boy: (with more perseverance). "
Boy: "Lady, I'll even sweep your house and your sidewalk, and so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida."
Woman: "No, thank you."
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.

The store-owner, who was listening to this, walked over to the boy and said "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."
Boy: "No Sir, thanks, I am fine."
Store Owner: "But you were really pleading for one."
Boy: "No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!"

This is what we call "Self Appraisal"

Two of us within us

2010-03-27T04:43:00.000-07:00

An old man is teaching his grandson about life:

' A fight is going on inside me, and a terrible fight between two wolves. One is evil - anger, envy, regret, sorrow, revenge, falsehood, self doubt, ego, and lies.

"The other is good - joy, peace, happiness, love, affection, praise, truth, trust, compassion, confidence, good and faith."

And he continues saying - " And this fight is going inside you and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a moment and then asked the grandfather,

"Which one will win?"

The grandfather replied " The one you feed."

One more, once more

2010-03-17T07:08:00.000-07:00

The last I wrote was on training sessions for men on the eve of 'International Women's Day.' Women had a good laugh - perceptible from the responses to my last post. This post is on 'Training sessions for Women.'

Topic 1. Silence, the Final Frontier:
Where No Woman Has Gone Before

Topic 2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking:
Making Deposits

Topic 3. Parties:
Going Without New Outfits

Topic 4. Bathroom Etiquette:
Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too

Topic 5. Communication Skills I:
Tears - The Last Resort, not the First

Topic 6. Communication Skills II:
Getting What you Want Without Nagging

Topic 7. Driving a Car Safely:
A Skill You CAN Acquire

Topic 8. Telephone Skills:
How to Hang Up?

Topic 9. Classic Footwear:
Wearing Shoes You Already Have

Topic 10. Oil and Petrol:
Your Car Needs Both

Of course! all this in good spirit.

Questions Galore

2010-03-08T03:10:00.001-08:00

I read this somewhere and thought it fit to publish on the eve of 'International Women's Day.' It's all about men and what training inputs they require and what training courses they should undergo.

Topic 1. How to fill ice-cube trays.
Step by step with slide presentation.

Topic 2. Toilet paper rolls: do they grow on the holders?
Round-table discussion.

Topic 3. Differences between the laundry basket and the floor.
Pictures and explanatory graphics.

Topic 4. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right
place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.
Open forum.

Topic 5. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your
health.
Graphics and audio tape.

Topic 6. Real men ask for directions when lost.
Real-life testimonials.

Topic 7. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel
parks?
Driving simulation.

Topic 8. Learning to live: basic differences between mother and wife.
Online class and role playing.

Topic 9. How to be the ideal shopping companion.
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

Topic 10. How to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays,
anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going to be late.
Cerebral shock therapy sessions

Happy Women's Day

Pot calling the kettle black

2010-03-02T09:57:00.000-08:00

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Here's what you do," said the Doctor,"stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he washing the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?" No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so, He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"
"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, PIZZA!"

Moral of the Story:
The problem may not be with the other one as we always think, could be very much within us..!

Wow !!!

2010-02-24T10:54:00.000-08:00

I read this somewhere.
Last spring I was walking in a park. A short distance ahead of me was a mom and her three-year-old daughter. The little girl was holding on to a string that was attached to a helium balloon.

All of a sudden, a sharp gust of wind took the balloon from the little girl. I braced myself for some screaming and crying.

But, no! As the little girl turned to watch her balloon go skyward, she gleefully shouted out, Wow! I didn't realize it at that moment, but that little girl taught me something.

Later that day, I received a phone call from a person with news of an unexpected problem. I felt like responding with ‘Oh no, what should we do?’ But remembering that little girl, I found myself saying, ‘Wow, that's interesting! How can I help you?’

One thing's for sure - life's always going to keep us off balance with its unexpected problems. That's a given. What's not preordained is our response. We can choose to be frustrated or fascinated.

No matter what the situation, a fascinated ‘Wow!’ will always beat a frustrated ‘Oh, no.’
So the next time you experience one of life's unexpected gusts, remember that little girl and make it a Wow! experience. The Wow! response always works.

Have a Great Day..........

Simply superb

2010-02-07T10:45:00.000-08:00

Certain things that I read and saw in the media this week made me think, left me a little disturbed but for my own reasons made me happy too.

The first event was how film star Shahrukh Khan was threatened and accused for speaking his mind. He was likened to a ‘traitor’ for taking up the cause of Pakistani cricketers. I was even more disturbed when I read what Shahrukh’s son had to tell his dad. The son is supposed to have asked his dad after hearing the traitor episode – ‘Dad, are we supposed to leave India?’ What deep impressions and residue are left in the child’s mind? The reason - few irresponsible statements made by some few. But responsible statement made my Shahrukh.

The second was an advertisement on the television where a child tells his father that when he grows up would only ride a bicycle. His dad asks ‘why a bicycle?’ The child replies that elders are wasting fuel and not using it appropriately and that the world in a few years would be devoid of fuel. What wisdom!

The third, again an Airtel advertisement, which shows a tiger cub anxiously awaiting her mother’s arrival not knowing whether she would return. Then a gunshot is heard to communicate tigers are being killed. And then the punch line is shown ‘There are only 1417 tigers left in India.’ So much for animal conservation.

Finally, a news item stating that a bus conductor donates a part of his salary every month to ensure that leaking water pipes are repaired. What a way to impact society through water conservation.

Some good Samaritans always show us the simple way. (See link)

Five important lessons

2010-02-01T18:17:00.000-08:00

I was wondering what post to write and nothing seem to strike me. There are times the musings of writing just don't seem to visit me. Just then, as if my prayers were answered, a message from Mr. Patwardhan lands on my mobile. Here it is and a very interesting thought at that - 'Five important lesons to learn from a pencil.'

One: It tells you that evertyhing you do will always leave a mark
Two: You can always correct the mistakes you make
Three: What is important is what's inside you and not outside of you
Four: In life you undergo painful sharpenings which will make you better in what you do
Five: To be the best you can be, you must allow yourself to be held and guided by the hand that holds you.

What perspective. Thanks Mr. Patwardhan for sharing.

That's a perspective

2010-01-23T08:54:00.000-08:00

I met money one day.
I said, "You are just a piece of paper."
" Money smiled and said, "Of course I'm, but I am yet to see a dustbin in my life".
PERSPECTIVE : "With all the money, you may yet not see a lot of things in life"

Three nice stories

2010-01-16T01:04:00.001-08:00

Once all villagers decided to pray for rain. On the day of the prayers all the villagers gathered but only one small boy brought an umbrella.

That’s FAITH

In our playful mood with a child, we throw our child up in the air and catch him. The baby enjoys the fun without any doubt that we will catch him.

That’s TRUST

Every night we go to bed with no assurance that we will wake up next morning. We still have a lot of plans for tomorrow.

That’s HOPE

Have a great week end

To Doctor with Love

2010-01-07T11:34:00.000-08:00

He was our family doctor and a close relative. A friend, philosopher and guide to our family. He breathed his last today, very much to the regret of all those who knew him.
Yes, Dr. Anand , we will all miss you.

All of us met him just on the second of January this year – not even a week back. Gregarious by nature, smiling and the cynosure of all eyes, he endeared himself to one and all. A Doctorate of Medicine by profession , Dr. Anand died of aortic aneurysm – a swelling of the aorta. It all happened within a few hours and suddenly he is no more in our midst.

Any ailment in our family and Dr. Anand was promptly contacted. He cured many of his patients just by instilling confidence and through his love and affection. He was not one to initiate strong measures for ailments but rather would wait and watch before he prescribed any course of treatment. Probably in his own case, he was given no time to wait and watch. It is just unbelievable that our beloved Doctor is no more.

A family of doctors, seven of them that includes Dr. Anand, his late father, Dr. Anand’s wife and daughter, his two brothers and brother’s daughter. Heartfelt and sincere condolences to Dr. Anand’s family for this irreparable loss and may the Almighty give abundant strength to them to tide over this loss.

All of us in the family are at a loss of words and deeply shocked.
What else to say except - ' Death lays its icy hands on Kings.'

The Final One - 2009

2009-12-31T08:35:00.000-08:00

I was checking up with a friend of mine as to what was up on New Year’s eve. ‘I am to myself’, replied my friend. ‘Alone? ’ was my query. The friend replied ‘not alone, but with myself.’

The friend continued ‘I will go home, watch a movie, have a good dinner, eat Baskin Robbins ice cream and go to bed. I have to report for work tomorrow and I need to start the New Year with a lot of vitality and energy.’. This was amazing and a new way of looking at things. I was generally joking saying that one had already reached the highest level in the Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs - ‘Self Actualisation’ or the stage of ‘Nirvana.’

Later on, I was thinking that being with oneself and reflecting on what happened and what needs to be done was an amazing way to ring out the old and ring in the new. Being at peace with oneself and enjoying the moments alone is really powerful and invigorating. Of course, people have their own ways of calling in the new year and each to his own. Enjoyment and happiness can be got alone and need not be necessarily with someone else being present . That’s amazing and a very different perspective.

I like to sign off with TS Eliot’s quote:
‘For last year's words belong to last year's language.

And next year's words await another voice.

And to make an end is to make a beginning.’ Wishing all of you A Very Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year.

Festive Spirit Beckons

2009-12-25T09:57:00.000-08:00

I have always liked the second fortnight of December. I guess it’s the festive spirit, chill in the air, and the conversations of people. Over the years, my yearning for these have only multiplied exponentially, and how I look forward to these every year.

The festive spirit, Oh gosh! gets into your bones. From candles to chocolates to plum cakes to festive cheer, Christmas is all about peace, joy, fun and celebrations. The Santa Claus, the beautifully decorated X’Mas tree, the lovely gifts, the shop discounts and not to miss the sparkling wine, say it all. The midnight mass with ladies in perfumed gowns and dresses, the men folk in their suits and the sound of children blowing horns all add to the cheer that takes Jesus Christ from Bethlehem to various parts of the world.
Its fun and I love it. Now the chill in the air. Especially for a Mumbaite who is subject to torrid humidity throughout the year. Its funny to see some folks in their best of woolens trying to ward off the Mumbai winter. Such folk will wear woolens in equator too. The nip in the air gets you and for once one feels refreshed in Mumbai. This, I guess, is the small mercy that nature offers to Mumbaites.

And finally the conversations. These centre around “How fast has this year passed? It’s already the end of the year”. “This year again, some resolutions kept, but most broken.” , “What promises one would keep in the New Year?”, and “ About Christmas and New Year eve parties.” These have never changed for several decades. Added to these, we have the fifty best ‘actors, top of charts films, songs and events - a never ending list.’ , News about actress Bipasha Basu dancing for fifteen minutes at Hotel Sahara and making(sic) a clean sum of two point four crores. That leaves me with my internal conversations that dancing is lucrative and whether I should become a professional dancer. I am woken up from my reverie when my missus tells me that there are other endowments required to make this fat sum, and my priority now should be to bend my knee.

Merry Christmas and a Prosperous 2010.

Chale Chalo

2009-12-19T22:12:00.000-08:00

In the last few weeks I have been lucky to receive interesting gifts, some to read and some to watch. A book on ‘Mad,’ and one on ‘An Autobiography of an Yogi’, and several DVDs which are worth viewing.

One such DVD that was inspirational and made an impact was ‘Chale Chalo’ - The Lunacy of Film Making. This two hour documentary depicts the trials and tribulations the film unit drawn from the far corners of the globe went through while making of the film ‘Lagaan.’ Most of us just see the outcome and are not privy to the inputs and efforts that finally make the end product. Though it has to be seen to be believed, I am making a mention of some of the pieces that made profound impact.

The film director Ashutosh Gowariker suffers a slip disc during the making of the film in the desert of Kutch and continues to shoot the film for an entire month lying on a stretcher. He chooses not to disturb the continuity and the flow of the film, and submerges himself into the film. So much for leadership. Veteran film actor, AK Hangal suffers an acute back pain and finds it impossible to stand on his feet or even sit on his own. He refuses to budge or leave the sets even though one can hear his cries due to unbearable pain. He is brought into the sets in an ambulance and nonchalantly with a lot of grit and determination effectively delivers his monologue with the entire unit in raptures. At the end he is heard saying ‘the show must go on.’

Shooting of the cricket match shown in Lagaan required about ten thousand spectators. Believe me, ten thousand villagers were brought in two hundred trucks and assembled at the venue. Villagers when informed that they were to assemble for a shooting, had decked themselves in the best of their clothing whereas the film required them to be dressed in dhotis and turbans. It was mind boggling to see that ten thousand such dhotis and turbans were distributed to make it look a real village setting. It was interesting to see the meticulous arrangement for breakfast and food for such a crowd, and one could only exclaim ‘God is in the details.’

Finally, kudos to actor Aamir Khan, his wife Reena and the entire unit for producing the film despite several constraints like housing, the desert heat, facilities, and managing costs within budgets. One scene that vividly stands out is the conversations that Aamir has with the crowd to film the crowd of ten thousand cheering, raising their hands and come running and rejoicing at the Indian team’s victory.

What stupendous efforts and clocklike precision in making it happen. An excellent lesson in team work.

Unfathomable

2009-12-15T06:52:00.000-08:00

I was planning a trip to Thailand with my family on 23rd November, 2009 and the booking for the same was done two months in advance. As providence would have it, my knee surgery was fixed on 23rd November, 2009. The trip was cancelled. Man proposes,God disposes.

I was sharing this uncanny coincidence and my experience to Ramu, a good friend of mine. He narrated a story which says it all. A king took along his able minister and the retinue for hunting. Accidentally, the king lost the phalanx of his first finger and was very unhappy. His able minister consoled the king saying that things happen for the good. The king flew into rage and sent him to jail.

Some time later, the king again ventured into the deep jungle for hunting and lost his way. He wandered alone and, as cruel fate would have it, was captured by tribals who were making preparations for human sacrifice. The tribals were happy and they decided to propiate their God by offering the body of the king as ‘human sacrifice’. The king was readied and on examination was found to have lost a part of his finger. The chieftain of the tribe was unhappy since a full and complete offering, (Poorna Ahuti) without any part of the body missing, was to be made to the Jungle God . The king was thus released and his life was saved.

On returning to his kingdom, remembering what his able minister had said, the king immediately ordered his release. The king narrated the incident to his minister and profusely thanked him for saving his life and also apologized for sending him to jail. The minister thanked the king for sending him to jail and said ‘ if your Honour had not sent me to jail, I would have accompanied your Honour to the jungle and I would have been the full and complete offering to the Jungle God’.

My life experience has always shown that things happen for a reason and always happen for the good. This may be true of the cancellation of my Thailand trip too.

“Look to the horizon, spread your wings, and fly...”

2009-12-10T09:14:00.000-08:00

I came across this piece and thought I should share this. The questions also reminded me of the coaching that I undertake with my coachees.

The nest of young eagles hung on every word as the Master Eagle described his exploits. This was an important day for the eaglets. They were preparing for their first solo flight from the nest. It was the confidence builder many of them needed to fulfil their destiny.

"How far can I travel?" asked one of the eaglets.
"How far can you see?" responded the Master Eagle.
"How high can I fly?" quizzed the young eaglet
"How far can you stretch your wings?" asked the old eagle.
"How long can I fly?" the eaglet persisted.
"How far is the horizon?" the mentor rebounded.
"How much should I dream?" asked the eaglet.
"How much can you dream?" smiled the older, wiser eagle.
"How much can I achieve?" the young eagle continued.
"How much can you believe?" the old eagle challenged.
Frustrated by the banter, the young eagle demanded, "Why don't you answer my questions?"
"I did." said the wise eagle
"Yes. But you answered them with questions."
"I answered them the best I could."
"But you're the Master Eagle. You're supposed to know everything. If you can't answer these questions, who can?"
"You." The old wise eagle reassured.
"Me? How?" the young eagle was confused.
"No one can tell you how high to fly or how much to dream. It's different for each eagle. Only God and you know how far you'll go. No one on this earth knows your potential or what's in your heart. You alone will answer that. The only thing that limits you is the edge of your imagination."
The young eagle puzzled by this asked, "What should I do?"
"Look to the horizon, spread your wings, and fly."

My Aussie friend

2009-12-05T10:22:00.000-08:00

Sitting at home and nursing my injury, my mind wandered to my school days at Don Bosco. Those beautiful days filled with nostalgia., I never ever can forget. For posterity’s sake, I decided to pen these today.

A close friend of mine Mr.V , now in Australia, was the leader of the mischief pack. The lunch boxes of a few students would be empty before lunch time and V along with a couple of close friends like me would be the beneficiaries. Their mothers made awesome food and we were very selective in choosing such lunch boxes. He was short and had the unique advantage of moving below the benches and come with these prized boxes. He never was caught in any of his mischief.

When the teacher turned to the black board, V would throw a chalk at the teacher, or suddenly make a weird noise or at least whistle. Those of the few sitting around him in class would be aroused to laughter, and would become the target of the teacher’s wrath. V, of course, always wore a cool innocent look.

In a particular lecture, he had brought with him a box full of marbles and at an appropriate moment chose to dispense with the contents of the box. The sudden jingling sound and students leaning forward to pick the marbles had the entire class in splits. The entire class had to write a particular English chapter five times by way of punishment.

V was curious by nature and always experimented with one thing or the other. There was a particular teacher who always wore a blue shirt. V sprinkled ink on his shirt just to find out whether the teacher changed his shirt or if he had several blue shirts.

V came to my house last week to invite me for a function. I heard him talking to my daughter on various career options. He told her that while making decisions in life, there would be confusion and anxiety. He beckoned her to look closely at these since the solution lay in the confusion itself.

It was in wonderment that I listened to my once upon a time mischievous V doling out perspective and wisdom to my little daughter.

Much ado about a day

2009-12-02T10:01:00.000-08:00

I have always been amused by ‘Friendship Day, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Brother’s Day,Sister’s Day ’ and such other nicely christened days. In the eighties, we never had such days celebrated . I thought friends, father and mother were loved everyday and no nominated daywas required to bring love to memory. These, I suppose, naturally was felt then..

Some years later, we saw days celebrated with great aplomb, and cards, flowers, sweets and flowers distributed. Talk about the number of days in the year, and you have equal number of nominated days. The question that always hankers the mind is how did this all begin? The age of commercialization had arrived with a lot of publicity for celebration on these days. Is it necessary, and is this required are questions that may throw up answers depending on the genre and the context.

My grey matter tells me that there is nothing wrong as long as these convey a meaning and purpose to all of us. I would not like to be drawn into a debate on this issue and I am no one to play God. But the thing that I saw in the newspaper the other day was probably the cherry on the ice cream.

So much for commercialization sweeping the world today.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-30T10:02:00.000-08:00

I am back home after my knee surgery. Fortunately, the surgeon is a close friend who assured me that I can play like Ronaldo. Now I am moving from the surgery phase to the convalescence phase. This phase is trying and testing, and relatively longer one. I am on crutches, my two recently acquired friends, and they are a great support.

A lot of visitors came to the hospital and home bringing with them their best wishes. A lot more came through messages and calls on my mobile. And you my friend bloggers too showered on me a lot of love, affection and good wishes.

A ‘Big Thank You’ to each and everyone for being with me when I most needed support and encouragement. Yes. I will now be seen more often in the blogsphere and be in constant touch. I have a lot of plans for the time I will be at home and I have decided to make the most of it, both professionally and personally.

Technology being what it is, I can be both at office and at home, with my boss as well as with my wife. It struck me that at home my wife is my boss. My first lesson is ‘Bosses do not spare you anywhere. One cannot just escape.’ Hmm.. what one cannot cure, one has to endure. That is true for my knee pain too.

Mind your step

2009-11-22T19:41:00.001-08:00

After my teaching assignment at a college and while walking down the stairs, I missed a step and fell down injuring my knee. My body weight and the weight of my lap top coupled together ensured that I tore my muscle severely. Fortunately it is neither a fracture or a ligament tear. The lesson learnt is : do not throw your weight around. I also understood that I always seem to be missing a step or just that step in life.

The surgery is scheduled in a hospital close home. The interesting part is that I will have to take a month's rest for full recovery. I am aware that I will pay a huge amount to the hospital for just missing a step. But I am now making plans on the things that I can possibly do during this one month hibernation.

Several of my office colleagues, friends and well wishers have been visiting me during the last week, and a lot of humour has happened around my knee. My boss jokingly remarked ‘ Iyer, now really tell me whom did you fall for? While another remarked that one of my improvement areas would be ‘being weak kneed.’ The last straw on my back was my doctor nephew terming it the ‘knock knee’ and telling me ‘ you missed a step, from now on live life step by step.’ My friend, Kavi, as usual, came up with the icing on the cake. ‘It is not in the falling down, it is in the rising up.’ Honestly, I have enjoyed all the fun that came my way, and am sure these will help me spring back on my feet soon.

Life has been interesting this last week with so much attention being showered on me and my knees. I am grateful to all my well wishers and my family for so much love and affection. To ensure an appropriate end to this post, this picture clicked by me at the Delhi airport says it all.

That's the spirit

2009-11-15T07:19:00.000-08:00

My friend lost his father and his in laws, three of them, in a space of a year. The elderly were bed ridden for four long years and were looked after by my friend, his wife and two daughters. Despite their official routine and daily chores, they tended to the elderly and were at their beck and call. The last of the elderly passed away last week.

I went to offer condolences and to appreciate them for their grit and ‘never say die’ spirit. During the conversations we had, what appealed to me was the part the elderly had played in the bonding of the family. The two daughters in particular were sharing the various lessons learnt from their grand parents, and felt those spaces would never ever be filled again. The anecdotes, folk tales, mythological stories and life experiences taught to them by their grandparents would always remain etched in the children’s mind. They conceded they had matured so much in the last three years and learnt their lessons on care, love, responsibility and accountability. Having been through thick and thin in looking after the bed ridden elderly , the entire family had in just a few years grown so much in love and affection for each other. They are today, as I look at them, a more complete family.

My friend, his wife and their two daughters were in close embrace when the preparations for the last rites were on. They hugged each other, sobbing that the last of their dear ones was gone. I saluted them for their endurance as the van carrying the body tugged along. May the spirit of the ‘Ramakrishnan family’ be always alive.

Strange but true

2009-11-02T17:59:00.000-08:00

I had read of a birthday party of a three year old where children along with their parents were invited. As is the custom, gifts were showered on the birthday boy who accepted these with glee. Other children , naturally curious, wanted to see the gifts but the birthday boy refused to open them or part with them.

Children started throwing up tantrums and many of them were crying loudly to have a glimpse of the gifts. The little boy refused to share the gifts despite both his parents cajoling, pleading, bribing, threatening and playing all sorts of tricks on him. Birthday party turned into a nightmare.

Questions of significance are : Why did the parents behave the way they behaved? And why did the little boy behave the way he behaved?
Behaviour of parents is dictated by what parents of other children will think of them. Probably, other parents may say “ How have they brought up their kid? They haven’t even taught the kid to share”. The necessity to ‘look good’ in the eyes of others becomes more important than the necessity of the child to own and enjoy his gifts. So much so the parents will go even to the extent of beating the child on his birthday to teach him the value of sharing. What a beautiful birthday gift for the child, and what beautiful memory to grow up with.

As for the child’s behaviour, it needs to be understood that the gifts are his and he needs to possess and enjoy them before sharing them. Often we have seen that once children have enjoyed the possession, they themselves give the toys to others or just leave it lying in some corner of the room. That’s the psyche of children. Do adults easily part with their possessions? No. Often they come up with reasons like ‘the gift has sentimental value’ or some such stuff.

My learning is that many of the things we do has a pay off. But we need to remember there is also a heavy cost to pay.

An Idol to Remember

2009-10-04T01:59:00.000-07:00

I am inspired by what Sujata wrote on Mahatma Gandhi . I am in agreement that today’s generation seem to know little about our ‘Father of the Nation.’ In the workshops that I conduct , I always draw examples of this great man and here is some of what I tell my participants.

I ask the participants – ‘What did Mahatma Gandhi say when he was thrown out of the train in South Africa?’ The reply that I often get is ‘we don’t know.’ I tell them I also do not know but my guess, looking at what happened between 1942 (Quit India Movement) and 1947(Indian Independence), is he would have said ‘ You threw me out of the train, I will throw you out of my country.’ Indeed he did it.

The Indian freedom started with Mahatma Gandhi declaring ‘ India will be free.’ It saw the light of the day on 15th August, 1947. My learning is that there exists so much power in language, conversation and declaration that it touched , moved and inspired millions of Indians to win freedom for their country. Freedom the world over has been achieved through declaration by some individual.

While concluding the session, I ask a question – ‘Who was Gandhiji’s neighbour?’ Generally I am greeted with stunned silence or some innocent ramblings. I conclude the session saying ‘Gandhiji’s neighbour will never be known. You need to be Gandhiji to be known.’

Mother - Sweet Mother of mine

2009-09-26T11:13:00.000-07:00

This incidentally is my fifty first post – sort of completed a half century. My first post was dedicated to the memory of my late father. This post, I owe it to my mother, who still looks after me and treats me like her little kid.

My mother, a simple woman, extremely loving and such dedication for one’s family is simply to be seen and believed. My father was her everything, and her two sons , my elder brother ( who is an example to follow – I have tried all these years and seem to be no where near) and I are her two eyes. The family is the end all for her and she is extremely content just seeing all of us happy.

Yes, she has done so much for us and still continues to untiringly do. My late father lovingly called her ‘ Aho! Bhagyavathi Naari’, and they doted on each other for sixty five long years when he bid her good bye. I have been lucky to have great parents and their love and blessings throughout.

My father’s death dealt a severe blow to her enthusiasm and liveliness that for nearly a year she was lost in her own thoughts. Her melodious chanting of morning prayers had stopped, and there were only silent prayers said within herself. A month back, when I was having my morning coffee with her, I mentioned that all of us missed her morning chant and that she start it for our sake. Like a bolt from the blue, she started chanting prayers and it was pure vibrations and ecstasy that filled our house. We are blessed that we hear these chants once again daily morning.

She is eighty two, very enthusiastic and loves to meet people. Her culinary skills are unmatched and she loves to feast guests who come home. Whatever she cooks, would be distributed to all her friends and this has been happening over the years. Though she has always wanted to do things on her own and be independent, she now holds a stick as her support to walk. She, however, looks very cute with a stick, holding her independence in one hand.

What more to say of my mother, she is truly God’s gift. Anne Taylor’s quote would be appropriate to end this piece on my mother.

“Who fed me from her gentle breast
And hushed me in her arms to rest,
And on my cheek sweet kisses prest?
My Mother.

Who ran to help me when I fell,
And would some pretty story tell,
Or kiss the place to make it well?
My mother.”

Farewell

2009-09-21T11:28:00.001-07:00

There have been innumerable farewell functions that I have attended considering the fact that I have spent twenty eight long years in the Human Resources Function. I have always observed that a lot of good is said about the retiring employee and nostalgic memories are kindled by those near and dear. The retiring employee already full of emotions due to his long association with the organization feels all the more terribly disturbed.

This is generally the drab routine in most of the farewell functions. I remember that in one such farewell, the employee after hearing to all the accolades showered on him, mentioned humorously that if such feedback was given to him earlier, he probably would have contributed multifold.

A farewell that I distinctly remember to date was one filled with fun. The Master of Ceremonies requested all present to indulge in celebrations, and packed it with all the humorous moments he had shared with the retiring employee. This placement set the tone for others to follow and for once I saw the retiring employee in splits of laughter thoroughly enjoying the entire function. There was no place for choked emotions and parched throats.

I recall having read somewhere the following lines which sound apt here. ‘People may forget what you said. People may forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.’

An Ethical Dilemma

2009-09-08T10:39:00.000-07:00

Some years ago, I remember a discussion that happened at my office. The payroll departmet executive informed me that he had noticed an employee of the organisation buying toiletries and other items from a chemist shop. The employee had requested the chemist to prepare a bill for medicines instead of for toiletries. The employee had justified saying that medical reimbursement was his entitlement and it was okay if he submitted the requisite bills even though he had bought things other than medicines.

An employee was entitled to cab fare while on official duty. He travelled by train incurring twenty five rupees but claimed taxi fare by submitting a bill for three hundred rupees. When it came to his manager’s notice, the employee stated that he had the right to claim the amount as taxi fare was his entitlement.

In the Benson and Hedges cricket match, when New Zealand required six runs off the last ball to draw the cricket match, Trevor Chappel from Australia bowled an under arm ball along the ground. By no stretch of imagination could this ball be belted for a six and Australia won. When questioned, the Australian captain stated that it was very much within the rules to do that as long as the bowler swung his arm.

I have always been intrigued at this curious display of righteousness exhibited by these people. Potter Stewart once said” There’s a huge difference between that which you have a right to do and that which is the right thing to do.” I have always been of the opinion that the ‘right thing to do’ goes far beyond the ‘legal right to do’, and lived my life accordingly. But ultimately this treads on the personal standards set by individuals for themselves, and the ethical dilemma, I presume, will continue.

What have you to say?

Crucial Conversations

2009-08-30T19:29:00.000-07:00

A student of mine was not too happy with the job and place of posting. It was always an eerie feeling with the person that life was not on the right track. This was shared with me and my help was sought. The short conversation went on as penned here.

Student: Sir, is the right time to talk to you? Are you free?
Teacher: I am at work. Obviously how can I be free? I am supposed to be busy. Jokes apart, go on.
Student: Sir, I am terribly frustrated with my job and this god forsaken place. I need your advice as to what to do?
Teacher: What are your issues? What is affecting you? Can you share?
Student: My work is not interesting, and nothing much to do after work. I feel like quitting my job and running back to Mumbai.
Teacher: I understand what you are saying. But do you think quitting is the only option?
Student: I know Sir what you are saying. At times, I just break down. But you know I am a fighter, and I won’t quit so easily.
Teacher: Then what are the options before you? Will breaking down now help?
Student: No Sir. I need to make things interesting and enjoy my work and stay.
Teacher: What can you do to change the situation? Can you think of some alternatives?
Student: Seek interesting work, discuss with my boss, join a gym or yoga. At least I have a well paying job
Teacher: You need to settle with the present. Many a time, we don’t realize what we possess. Wisdom is all about enjoying the present and creating possibilities for the future.
Student: But the negative thoughts keep coming back
Teacher: Let me tell you what you focus on expands. If you focus on ‘ job is not good’, this thought will expand and cover your universe. Then you breakdown because you attract negatives.
Student: Yes Sir, got it. I will look at it in a new way now.
Teacher: What should you be doing?
Student: I am confused. I think I need to deal with them, what else? Yes, I need to own it
Teacher: You are on target. Think on how to confront issues that crop up and come out with solutions. Anybody can crib. Very few can resolve and settle with issues as a part of life. Now it is your choice of ‘whom to be’.
Student: I am accountable Sir, its my life. I know what you say is always for my good and that is why I discuss things with you. I know you will tell me what I need to hear and not want I want to hear. Thanks, Sir.

People’s performance will always correlate with how situations occur to them. Until the occurring shifts, a new future cannot be established.

A long way to go

2009-08-23T11:53:00.000-07:00

A legal matter that commenced in 1993 has not seen its end till date. Workmen fighting their cause have lost sixteen crucial years of their lives. Delayed justice has often been the topic for debate in many a forum. Few months ago certain reports that appeared in the newspapers seemed to indicate that things were improving. Judges were being made more accountable, and that matters were being decided with greater speed.

During my recent visits to the courts in North India, I saw a litigant and his very look spoke volumes for what our judicial system had done to him. When spoken to, he informed me he was sixty seven years of age, and had been battling for twenty four long years. He looked shrivelled and the long wait had ensured that the sparkle of youth had given way to the wrinkles of old age. I started wondering whether it was cruel fate or simply the curse of our judicial system. Have a look at him.

I saw another litigant and in conversation understood that nothing really happened except adjournments. He was telling me ‘Tariq pe tariq’, which in English means ‘one date to another’. I also saw several litigants seated at the entrance without any knowledge of what’s going on. Advocates were merrily in conversation with each other and most of the courts were empty, some because Judges were to be appointed. Even if Judges were present, I was told that the Court sat only for three hours a day whenever the advocates or the court staff decided not to strike work.

Icing on the cake was where the cross examination of a litigant was in progress in the only court that was working. It was diquieting to see the litigant sitting on the floor and being subject to questioning. So much for being the underdog in the system.

I was appalled at the mediocrity of the entire system, and thought courts in cities were much better. Finally I returned to Mumbai fully convinced that there is quite a slip between the cup and the lip. My sincere prayers to Lord Ganesha and best wishes on the occasion of 'Ganesh Chaturti' !!

Relentless Worker

2009-08-20T00:41:00.000-07:00

This gentleman sits opposite my building and mends and polishes footwear. I watch him at work everyday from my window sill and appreciate his relentless toil. Since he sits exactly opposite my entrance, his alternate vocation is also to guard the building when our watchman is away. He executes this task as well with great élan.

His day begins around 9 am and ends around 730 pm. He has a very keen eye and would often mention to me the visitors that came to my building or any unusual incident that happened during the day. I keenly observe him on my holidays and seen him very intent at work. His focus is on everybody’s feet ( I like to call it 'legs' since this is what I also observe apart from his work). His workmanship is of the highest order and rarely have I seen an unsatisfied customer or observed anybody complaining. He regales his customers with the latest updates on cricket which for him is a passion. Humble and down to earth is how I would describe him, who ensures others’ feet are placed comfortably on the ground. I have often seen him drawing customers into long conversations while tending to them, and also indulging in uncontrollable bouts of laughter. I again wonder at such times whether he is pulling their legs or their footwear.

Coming to other interesting observations, I have often watched the fairer sex bare their shapely legs and well formed feet in front of him. Is it a source of distraction or motivation for him, I often wonder? There are, of course, times when the legs are also rotund, fleshy and not very great to look at, and I turn my stare away from these. Can he afford such choices of selection as I do? I think he cares any less, and probably this happens when certain things become profession for some, and ‘eye soothing’ for folks like me.

Regardless of caste, creed, religion, haves and have nots, he goes about his daily chores to ensure people are on their feet. What would the world be without such sincere and hardworking souls who play their roles to perfection, and that too without much ado and a frown in their faces? Kudos to him for upholding the dignity of labour and planting people’s feet firmly on terra firma.

Balancing Act

2009-08-14T11:23:00.000-07:00

Life, I think, is all about balance and imbalance. This thought occurred to me when I was watching the celebrations of Lord Krishna also popularly known as Janmashtmi. A human pyramid formed to break a pot containing butter and curds, and in the end the winners get thousands to lakhs of rupees depending on who the sponsor is. The victory is all about how well you maintain balance to form the human pyramid and thereafter sustain it.

The other one is about tightrope walking , which is witnessed in towns and cities in India. Here again it is all about balance. I remember a story of a father training his daughter in the art of tightrope walking, and telling her that if she at all fell down, she would be married off to a donkey. I heard the donkey after hearing that is still waiting for her to fall. And finally it is about what we hear in corporate offices. Yes, you are right ‘Work life balance’. This coinage always make me wonder whether work and life are different or whether there is no life in work. In recessionary times, there is no work in life. I am confused and conclude telling myself ’ It is, once again, a fine balance and it is a thin line that separates ‘life and work’ or ‘work and home’’

What's in a name ?

2009-08-11T12:42:00.000-07:00

In the sales conference I attended, an incident in the form of a joke was narrated by the compere. It is about two salesmen, Tom and Joe, who missed their last train to their residence deciding to stay in the house of a beautiful widow. The widow had three bed rooms and offered two of them to the salesmen. After settling down in her house, Tom, late in the night found it irresistible and knocked at the bedroom door of the widow. His magic worked and he had a great time. However, he wished not to disclose his identity and when asked what his name was, informed her it was Joe.

Two years later, Joe received a letter from the widow wherein the incidents of that night were graphically narrated and how grateful she was for the nice time. Joe understood the game and confronted Tom who admitted to what happened that night and that he had given his identity as Joe. But Tom curiously asked Joe how he was aware, to which Joe replied that the widow had died and bequeathed all the property to Joe for the wonderful time she had.

Is that why Shakespeare had said “what’s in a name, a rose by any other would smell as sweet?”

Titles, labels and designations

2009-08-01T23:48:00.000-07:00

On this Sunday morning, I was sitting with my family – wife, son and daughter. It started with reading the zodiac signs for the week amidst a lot of interpretations and laughter. I saw a visiting card wherein the name of the person and his company and his designation were printed. This started our discussions which I am writing about.

I asked my son and daughter what designations meant to them. We then talked about what designations each of us would like to have printed on our cards. My daughter Bittu said ‘President - Bittu.com’, and added she was not too happy since it would last only till she decided to call it a day with the Company. My son, Shashank, however, interjected and said that it has to do something ‘with our own life’. He then stated he liked for himself the designation – ‘President – My Own Life’, thus reaching Maslow’s top level of the ‘Needs Hierarchy’. My wife and I were amazed at the generation of thoughts by our little ones. My wife exclaimed ‘Oh! today’s children’ when again my daughter butted in to say ‘Why have designations at all? We are what we are’.

This of course! left me with a thought whether titles, labels and designations were all about identity and our search for it. Pondering over this, I hit upon what the great psychologist Erikson had to say. Erikson talked about examining the following for some resolution:

Self-Certainty
Do you feel consistent in your self-image and the image you present to others?
Role Experimentation
Have you tried different roles in search of the one that feels right to you?
Anticipation of Achievement
Do you believe that you will be successful in what you choose to do -- whether your role is at the work front or home front?
Gender Identity
Do you feel comfortable being a male or a female, and dealing with others as such?
Leadership Polarization
Are you able to become both a leader and a follower, whichever is called for in a given situation?
Ideological Values
Have you found a set of basic social, philosophical, or religious values that your outlook on life can be based upon?

All these left me wondering and wiser. Thanks Shashank and Bittu.

What a shame ........

2009-07-19T03:24:00.000-07:00

I keep quiet when the Christian nuns get raped,
I keep quiet when the environment and nature is rummaged,
I keep quiet when the Babri Masjid/Akshadam/Church is demolished,
I keep quiet, after a hue and cry, when Kasab and his brethren kill and set fire,
I keep quiet when the Dalits are murdered by the Hindus, Hindus by Muslims or Dalits, Muslims by Hindus and Dalits ,
I keep quiet when there is rampant corruption and it is nicely christened ‘speed money’,
I keep quiet when human lives are destroyed by ULFA, Naxalites, Bajrang Dal and such outfits,
I keep quiet when education is at the mercy of politicians who play their own fiddle,
I keep quiet knowing fully well I am the puppet and others incapable and incorrigible are the puppeteers,
I ask myself what would happen to my own children and the future generation if this continues,
Like me, do you also keep quiet?

Losing to Win

2009-07-10T11:41:00.000-07:00

Circumstances do arise in life when sacrifices are essential, short term has to be compromised for the long term, or in relationships for the very basis of its sustenance, one will have to willingly give in. To me that’s victory of my humility over my ego. If this is achieved, I consider I have evolved and grown as a person.

How did I choose to write on this? I remembered the story ‘Babus of Nayanjore’ written by Guruji Rabindranath Tagore, and the lesson learnt after reading this beautiful piece. Succintly put, this is the story of a rich old man who lost all his wealth but still lived his life narrating the happenings of the glorious days. Not a penny in his pocket but made it appear to people that he was still affluent. Allowing the old man the space to live his life the same way till his heavenly calling came one day is what has been narrated by Guruji Tagore. A must read for one and all, and available if you google.

This story provided me the insight as to how one can respect the other’s self worth and identity without calling the bluff. The easiest thing would be to expose the individual and demean him. That would be the common way of leading life. But it requires a very different mindset to be otherwise and uphold the other individual’s respect and dignity. To my grey matter, this truly is human growth.

I am back like the Mumbai Rains!

2009-07-04T07:01:00.000-07:00

Wow, it has caught on. Finally, Lord Varuna (Rain God) has obliged to the many prayers of Mumbaites. It has been a pouring inferno, and once again the city with its bursting population has been seen adjusting and accommodating to this downpour.

Some things that I was an eye witness since morning are what I seem to be scribbling. Knee deep water and the consequent breakdown of cars and taxis and auto rickshaws. Some fretting and fuming and showing their anger through their blaring horns and glaring stares. Those affected trying to take help of whoever passing by. Street urchins demanding huge sums to push their vehicles and make a fast buck. The office going public running fast to catch slow trains which seem to meander only to stop. The good Samaritan tea vendors serving hot tea and providing succour to those stranded passengers and motorists.

But I also observe those who are just out to enjoy the rains with gay abandon. College going couples daring the rains and taking the opportunity to get closer to each other and in a way trying to create heat for themselves. The best are the school going children bunking schools because of their parents fear of Mumbai floods. A virtual swimming pool created by them , enjoying themselves in this heavenly deluge. Pushing and jostling one another with not a care in the world. The really small ones with their parents in toe making paper boats and allowing them to sail.

And me, enjoying all these with my wife sitting by the window sill sipping steaming tea with hot pakodas. What more can you ask on a rainy day and that too after having waited for the rains for more than a month.

Alumni Meet Grand Finale

2009-06-19T21:55:00.000-07:00

Post the felicitation at the Alumni meet, Ranga, Pai and I mingled with our professors and chatted, reminiscing old memories.

One such conversation was with our lady professor who taught us physical chemistry. An extremely beautiful lady and continues to look so even today. We reminded her how her lecture rooms swelled with male students, and if at all there were absentees they were obviously of the fairer sex. She gave us a knowing smile (which we thought was too late in the day) which accentuated her beautiful dimples, and made us even more dumbstruck. Talking of dimples, I remember my good friend Kavi remark “ Many men make the mistake of falling in love with a dimple, and ending up marrying the whole woman.” We further reminded the smiling assassin, our lady professor, the unique way she adopted in asking questions during her lectures. She had this style of saying “Come on, come on”, and all of us back benchers literally stood up to march towards her unable to resist the temptation. We told her that after so many years we understood the term ‘Physical Chemistry’.

We then met our Physics professor who had this habit of throwing chalk pieces at the students after asking a question. We called him a sharp shooter since the chalk pieces always fell on beautiful girls. Of course! he had always had his way with girls and left a mark (chalk mark) on them. Arjuna of Mahabharata fame would have been put to shame considering our professor’s shooting skills. This professor, I remember, had once seen Ranga and me lean on one of the pillars at the college entrance. In his characteristic humour, he had shot back “ the pillars are strong enough, they don’t need your support”. It was his way of reminding us that we should be in the lecture rooms instead of wasting our time at the entrance. When we reminded him of this remark, he told us “ those were the days, but you students are the real pillars”

It indeed was amazing to recall these incidents and share it with our professors. All of us brimmed with happiness and joy , and we profusely thanked our professors for their contributions in building our lives.

Jai Ho !, Our Professors.

Alumni Meet - I

2009-06-13T11:24:00.000-07:00

A month ago I along with my friends, Ranga and Pai , attended the alumni meet of our graduation college. We met a lot of our professors and past students and truly what transpired there was nostalgic.

Professors who had taught us were felicitated for their contributions as also some students who had made it big in their lives. We were not in this category, but had decided to make it to the stage and be felicitated, come what may. My friend Pai during our conversation told me and Ranga that he had over thirty years carefully kept the college identity cards of all the four years of graduation, and proudly displayed it to us. We saw our friend Pai looking very youthful in these photographs, and we told the trustee that Pai should be felicitated for maintaining these college identity cards even though thirty years had elapsed. The trustee in good humour commended Pai for his deed and decided to felicitate Pai for his love to the Alma Mater.

Ranga and I called Pai aside and told him that we were responsible for his felicitation since we had talked to the trustee. We told him that after his felicitation, he should come on the microphone and state that he was accompanied by his two friends, Ranga and Iyer and that they also be invited on stage since they both had represented the college in Table Tennis and had occupied positions of authority in the college sports club. Pai was felicitated and true to the spirit of friendship, he talked about us and we were also invited on stage for felicitation. In a way, he did not leave any alternative for the organizers but to felicitate me and Ranga.

Ranga and I right from our college days always knew how to show up where it matters. It was a great feeling to know thirty years later, we still were good at it and had not lost our charm.

Jai Ho, Ranga and Pai.

Analysis - Paralysis Syndrome!

2009-06-07T09:27:00.000-07:00

Always been wondering at how people worry about things that may happen in the future. They seem to be too much worried about consequences, when they really must be enjoying the present. Then there are a certain class of people who do not act imagining about undesirable consequences that may emanate. They remain where they are with just the fear that things may not turn their way. Then there are others who plan, brood and do not move an inch forward.

Application of mind is important so also analysis. Beyond a point, they lose their meaning. Too much of analysis , in my mind, leads to paralysis. Hence, over the years I have believed that ‘Knowing is knowing, Knowing is not doing, And doing is doing’.

In the above context, I am reminded of a story involving King Akbar and his lieutenant, Birbal. Akbar one night dreamt that his dearest horse was flying in the sky. He realised this was a dream but wanted to make it a reality. Next day, he called all his court officials and spelt his dream. He stated that whoever could make his horse fly would be offered ten thousand gold coins. The flip side was that if anybody promised and failed to materialize the dream, he would have his neck on the guillotine. Nobody was ready to make the dream come true except Birbal who stated he could. Birbal, however, had one rider and he informed King Akbar telling him ‘Oh! Majesty, it is possible except that it will take five years to train and make the horse fly’. The king was mighty pleased and agreed to grant him time.

After the court adjourned for the day, all the officials including Birbal’s wife were concerned at the absurdity of the promise, and reminded Birbal that his neck was on the guillotine. Birbal’s wife was in tears and pleaded with him to take back the promise given to the King. Birbal, intelligent that he was, told all of them – ‘ Who knows whether King Akbar will live for five years, who knows whether Birbal himself will live for five years and who knows whether the horse will live for five years. If all of them survive for five years, we will kill the horse. Just don’t waste your time and worry over trifle things’.

What say!!!

Oh! Nature

2009-06-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

Recently there was a news report on a cow delivering its young one. The report stated that the cow expends quite a lot of energy during delivery that it is dead tired and hungry after the calf is born. My research indicates that it takes about 270 to 290 days for a calf to be born much similar to humans. It is the legs that come out first followed by the face after three or four contractions in case of a normal delivery.

In one such case in a Bangalore public road, the cow after its delivery went on search for food, and lost its way. The calf was mooing for its mother’s milk which generally is fed by the mother immediately after the delivery. A veterinarian passing by could sense the discomfort of the calf, and since the search for the mother seemed to be in vain, decided to feed the calf through a feeding bottle. The calf would not drink from the nipple of the feeding bottle when the veterinarian came with imaginative stuff. He started mooing like the mother cow and simultaneously starting feeding the calf. The calf started sucking the nipple, and enjoyed milk to its heart content.

That very night, the calf was again hungry, and sans the veterinarian, refused to drink milk. Since the veterinarian stayed about 30 kms from the cattle shed, an unique method was adopted by the veterinarian. He instructed his staff to keep the phone receiver on the calf’s ear and he started mooing over the phone, when again the calf started sucking the nipple, and drinking milk. It was a great moment for the staff at the shed since this kept the calf going.

It was amazing and fascinating to see how the calf responded to drinking at the sound of the mother’s voice. That , I guess, is association with a mother. Research again indicates that that the child is biologically pre wired to bond to the mother. The mother’s voice becomes a reinforcement by being paired with feeding and thereby eliciting a positive response from the infant.

Simply fabulous are the ways of nature.

Time alone can heal

2009-05-30T09:25:00.000-07:00

My good friend Jayaram lost Devika, his wife, last week after a prolonged illness. She was suffering from a kidney ailment for the last ten years and in the last few years was practically on dialysis. Jayaram did a lot for his wife and did whatever possible cheerfully. Devika’s mother had offered her kidney to her daughter for transplant, which sustained her for ten years. Jayaram has two teenaged daughters who also did their measure for their beloved mother.

I went for the funeral and there were near and dear ones grieving. It was quite touching to see the daughters literally weeping and moaning though Jayaram stood his ground for the sake of his daughters. A thought that crossed my mind was two young girls have lost their mother, the husband - his wife, and the mother - her daughter. That home will never be the same again. The kitchen will be empty, and the corner bed where Devika spent her last days, silent and still. Overnight, life changes.

Jayaram and his two daughters will continue to hear Devika’s voice, and feel her endearment and love in all they do, though she will never ever be seen again. Why (reason) and when (time) these happen are unfathomable, I tell myself.

It would sound a cliché to say that ‘Time alone can heal’, but ultimately this truth will always hold. May Devika’s soul rest in peace.

Partners in Crime

2009-05-26T12:06:00.000-07:00

My niece, Priya had decided to celebrate her birthday with hubby , Vikram, over a quiet dinner. The devil that Vikram is - he had tied up a master plan with my daughter, Shraddha, a bigger devil, to celebrate the birthday of Priya in a manner which was more of a surprise to her.

Both Vikram and Shraddha had sewn up a master plan whereby the duplicate key of Vikram’s house was available with Shraddha. Both of them had agreed that after dinner when Vikram brought Priya home, the house would be decorated and a cake would be kept on the centre table. All the other family members were told to assemble in the house and ten of us including my eighty old mother were seated in one of the rooms with all lights switched off. Thanks to mobile phones, constant encoded messages were exchanged between the devils to ensure that the plan was executed without any glitch. Vikram, of course, to ensure that Priya had no clue , had to pretend while messaging that he was involved in serious office work.

At around 1155 pm, we heard the noise of the key on the door and Vikram along with Priya came in. There was pin drop silence and the lights were put on by Priya who saw the cake and the decorations and was heard telling her hubby ‘ Baby, thanks so much for the cake’. By then all of us rushed from the other room and in unison sang ‘Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to Priya’. She was stunned and could not believe her eyes. She was so thrilled that she lost herself for a moment and hugged each one of us expressing her joy and happiness.

For all of us , this was a memorable experience, and for Priya – it was something out of the world. Indeed the plan was executed to a ‘T’, and I had heard of such things happening elsewhere We congratulated the partners in crime, the two devils, who left no stones unturned in ensuring an unforgettable experience and a great birthday to Priya.

'Eluding' - Success

2009-05-22T05:27:00.000-07:00

Nowadays we hear a lot about success and being successful. So much so that people believe that few things are as motivating as success. I keep on wondering about this so called quest for success, and the rat race to which the world has succumbed to.

Having seen successful people like actors, cricketers, musicians, executives et al and their brush with success, some stray thoughts pass my mind which I am capturing on paper.

• Success is never forever
• Managing success can be more difficult than achieving success – Pete Sampras
• Success is a lousy teacher – it seduces smart people to think they cannot lose - Bill Gates
• Past performance is no guarantee for future success
• Coping with life from limelight to the sidelines is not all that easy
• Success can be heady and hence the necessity to maintain balance
• Its not enough to succeed, others must fail
• Be nice to people on your way up, because you will meet them on your way down

Though some or all of the above may be to some extent true, making a difference, I reckon, is more important than achieving success. Success will always elude us. The only answer, Iguess, then would be "we need to change our being to change our seeing."

Confidence level

2009-05-15T11:40:00.000-07:00

Courtesy: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/funlok/

I liked this story and thought I will share it for the benefit of my readers

Story told by a man which is most frightening yet thought-provoking experiences of his life.

He had been on a long flight. The first warning of the approaching problems came when the sign on the airplane flashed on: "Fasten your seat belts." Then, after a while, a calm voice said, "We shall not be serving the beverages at this time as we are expecting a little turbulence. Please be sure your seat belt is fastened."

As he looked around the aircraft, it became obvious that many of the passengers were becoming apprehensive. Later, the voice of the announcer said, "We are so sorry that we are unable to serve the meal at this time. The turbulence is still ahead of us."

And then the storm broke. The ominous cracks of thunder could be heard even above the roar of the engines. Lightening lit up the darkening skies and within moments that great plane was like a cork tossed around on a celestial ocean. One moment the airplane was lifted on terrific currents of air; the next, it dropped as if it were about to crash.

The man confessed that he shared the discomfort and fear of those around him. He said, "As I looked around the plane, I could see that nearly all the passengers were upset and alarmed. Some were praying.

The future seemed ominous and many were wondering if they would make it through the storm. And then, I suddenly saw a girl to whom the storm meant nothing. She had tucked her feet beneath her as she sat on her seat and was reading a book.

Everything within her small world was calm and orderly. Sometimes she closed her eyes, then she would read again; then she would straighten her legs, but worry and fear were not in her world. When the plane was being buffeted by the terrible storm, when it lurched this way and that, as it rose and fell with frightening severity, when all the adults were scared half to death, that marvelous child was completely composed and unafraid."

The man could hardly believe his eyes. It was not surprising therefore, that when the plane finally reached its destination and all the passengers were hurrying to disembark, he lingered to speak to the girl whom he had watched for such a long time. Having commented about the storm and behavior of the plane, he asked why she had not been afraid.

The sweet child replied, "Sir, my Dad is the pilot and he is taking me home."

.

Club 99

2009-05-09T05:46:00.000-07:00

I heard this story and was fascinated by its moral. Thought I will share with my readers.

Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content. One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked. This fascinated the King. Why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while a lowly servant had so much joy. The King asked the servant, " Why are you so happy?"

The man replied, " Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant. But my family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies ."

The king was not satisfied with that reply. Later in the day, he sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the King's woes and the servant's story, the advisor said, " Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of 'The 99 Club'."

" The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?" the King inquired. The advisor replied, " Your Majesty, to truly know what 'The 99 Club' is, place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep."

When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... So many gold coins! He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were 99 coins. He wondered, " What could've happened to that last gold coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 coins! " He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold coin and complete his collection.

From that day, the servant's life was changed. He was overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that hundreth gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked.

Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his advisor's help, the advisor said, " Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined 'The 99 Club'. " He continued, " 'The 99 Club' is a name given to those people who have enough to be happy but are never contented, because they're always yearning and striving for that extra ONE telling themselves: "Let me get that one final thing and then I will be happy for life ."

We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute we're given something bigger and better, we want even more! We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us; all these as a price for our growing needs and desires. That's what joining 'The 99 Club' is all about."

A cricket's Lesson !

2009-05-01T23:05:00.000-07:00

N.S.Iyer is traveling. He nevertheless is keen that his readers stay updated with his thoughts. So, here is something that he had forwarded to me earlier, which he prefers posted now. And i am more than happy to do so !

And by the way, he is got his ear on this blog ! For this blog and its readers are important to him.

Kavi

A man and his friend were in a city, walking through the street. It was during the noon lunch hour and the streets were filled with people. Cars were honking their horns, taxicabs were squealing around corners, sirens were wailing, and the sounds of the city were almost deafening. Suddenly, the man said to his friend, "I hear a cricket."

His friend said, "What? You must be crazy. You couldn't possibly hear a cricket in all of this noise!"

"No, I'm sure of it," the man said, "I heard a cricket."

"That's crazy," said the friend.

The man listened carefully for a moment, and then walked across the street to a big cement planter where some shrubs were growing. He looked into the bushes, beneath the branches, and sure enough, he located a small cricket. His friend was utterly amazed. "That's incredible," said his friend. "You must have super-human ears!"

"No," said the man. "My ears are no different from yours. It all depends on what you're listening for."

"But that can't be!" said the friend. "I could never hear a cricket in this noise."

"Yes, it's true", was the reply. "It depends on what is really important to you. Here, let me show you."

He reached into his pocket, pulled out a few coins, and discreetly dropped them on the sidewalk. And then, with the noise of the crowded street still blaring in their ears, they noticed every head within twenty feet turn and look to see if the money that tinkled on the pavement was theirs.

"See what I mean?" asked the man.

"It all depends on what's important to you."

In flight experience

2009-04-25T09:51:00.000-07:00

Travelling by an aircraft is always interesting provided one’s ears and eyes are open. Yes, one should not be the traveller who the moment flight takes off calls for a blanket and has his forty winks and gets up when the flight lands with a thud. Some experiences have been exhilarating and I shall share them.

I am generally the type who would pick up a conversation with a passenger seated next, and if the other person is not too cocky would for some part continue the conversation. I happened to be with a humorous seventy five year old gentleman and we connected well during the entire journey. He had a mischievous wink and smile and whenever he laughed, his whole body shook including his seat. We laughed a lot and he also pulled the legs of those seated near to us. Mid flight, a gentleman sitting across got up, opened the luggage cabin and pulled out his bag. The old man gently asked him “Are you getting down somewhere mid air that you are taking your baggage”? Passengers nearby roared in laughter and the gentleman also sportingly acknowledged the humour.

Hilarious was my journey in the company of young mischievous boys recently. One interesting incident I remember was when one guy told the other “ Sachin is sleeping in the front seat”. His friend asked him “with whom?”

During my flight last week, I was seated next to a young woman and her husband. At the start of the flight she had asked for three mini water bottles and I felt it was okay considering the sweltering heat in India. To my dismay I discovered later that she had this habit of asking for water too often. I had no objections whatsoever till the consequences of drinking too much water manifested. Sometime after take off, she started excusing herself to visit the washroom. Being in the aisle seat, I had to get up and give way. It happened seven times in a flight spanning ninety minutes which averaged a visit to the loo every thirteen minutes. This meant she was in the loo for nearly forty minutes considering the time taken every visit depending on what she was upto. Thoughts like what should I do to plug the water onslaught, what about the drainage in the aircraft and its storage capacity, will the aircraft sink - et al crossed my mind. I hated her husband for two reasons, one for having such an extremely beautiful wife like Angelina Jolie coupled with Jennifer Lopez, and secondly for peacefully slumbering like Rip Van Winkle unaware of my plight. I offered her the aisle seat and my ordeal ended.

So much for now. Can you share some of yours?

A lesson learnt

2009-04-19T07:12:00.000-07:00

I thought I will share with all of you a lesson that I learnt some years back. I was looking after the human resources function of our Company’s factory. I had a nice glass cabin to myself from where I could see those who came to visit me. Luckily, people from outside could not see what I was upto, and that saved my job.

I remember vividly it was the twenty third of April and I was ensconced in my cabin with a fellow manager of mine discussing certain issues. Both of us could see a certain workman called Kumar approaching my cabin. Kumar had somehow or the other been besieged with several problems in his personal life. On some occasion it was his wife who was sick, sometimes his parents or his children, but problems predominated his otherwise cheerful disposition.

My fellow manager told me "Iyer, can you see Kumar coming? I am sure he is coming to request for a loan for his endless problems". In the next two minutes, Kumar knocked at my cabin door and said " Good morning, Sir". By way of a reaction, I asked Kumar " Some more problems, some more loans?’" Kumar looked at me and said "Sir, I remembered that today is your marriage anniversary and I wanted to congratulate you and wish you many more years of wedded bliss". He offered me a flower and a lemon which in South India are regarded auspicious, and hugged me before he left. My eyes were full with tears and I thanked him profusely. I felt like a full bloomed idiot and also felt extremely embarrassed. Even my fellow manager had not extended me wishes that day, but Kumar had remembered an important day in my life.

The lesson Kumar taught me that day was to view each situation anew and never to operate from my mindset. My own mindset and my mental blocks came my way and evoked a bad reaction from me when he entered my cabin. Kumar could have reacted and behaved very differently and walked away thinking what a nincompoop I was. He chose to act differently and accomplished the mission that he came for.

Thanks Kumar for this important lesson. I no more make gross generalisations. In more than one way, you changed my way of thinking and my reactions to life in various situations.

All of them - professionals

2009-04-12T10:02:00.000-07:00

I have been on leave and just chilling out. Ensured that I kept away from posting on my blog, and it is today that I have posted comments on other blogs and also decided to write a post.

My niece narrated a happening in a party attended by her and her husband. All was joy and fun with whisky, beer and vodka flowing, and lot of good food with about ten friends and their families attending the party. Loud music, jokes, laughter and dance - everyone present had just let their heads down. Dinner was over and liqueur was served and it was just the right setting to go home and get up late on a Sunday morning. It was at this juncture that it was known that a child had gone into a room and mistakenly locked itself. As things often happen, the keys to this room had been misplaced, and the child unable to come out was squealing and literally throwing up. The child’s parents were concerned and also others present. Everyone tried their little bit to open the room – some tried using their physical strength and some their mental. I was told most of them were MBAs, and theoretical models just don’t work in such situations.

The neighbour was summoned since there was some carpentry work undertaken at his house. It was past midnight and the carpenter was summoned. The neighbor who was literally sozzled provided some comic relief to the otherwise tense situation. The neighbour tried all his mastery at opening the door with a screw driver, and was seen driving at everything except the keyhole. When others intervened to help, he felt that his prowess was being challenged. I guess those who drink believe booze provides the answer, but unfortunately they don’t remember the question. Such was the neighbour’s predicament. Alcohol has always been a misunderstood vitamin.

Since the child had to be rescued without causing danger or physical harm, the police and fire brigade were informed. The police could not do much except counselling the parents as to how children should be looked after. The carpenter arrived by then and opened the door and the child was back with his parents. The fire brigade personnel were informed over the phone that the drama had ended but they did not relent. Thus the ordeal was still not over The rules of the fire brigade state that once informed, it was their bounden duty to visit the place. They arrived and it was fun again. Five of them in uniforms arrived with torches and insisted on using heir torches even though the entire house was fully lit. They started inspecting the place with their torches on - much to the amusement of everyone. Despite being told that the child was safe, they insisted on seeing the child and did so in great élan by pointing their torches to the child’s face. This was the icing on the cake and a grand finale to the party.

Police, firemen , carpenter and the sozzled neighbour left, and the friends decided to have a final drink – one for the road, and to the child. The toast, of course, was raised for the neighbour , the police and firemen who ensured the friends and their families did not lose their sanity in such tense situation.

Grandfathers' Tales (Tails)

2009-04-02T12:26:00.000-07:00

I was told this story recently. It’s quite interesting and all of us have a moral to draw. This is the story of the cap seller and the monkeys, and here it goes ….

Once a cap seller was walking along the forest and decided to rest under a tree after lunch. He placed his caps near his head and went into deep slumber. When he woke up, he noticed that his caps were missing and was quite upset. He soon realized that some monkeys had played a trick on him and found the monkeys wearing the caps and sitting atop a tree. He thought of a plan to retrieve his caps and enacted the same. He showed his fist to the monkeys and they repeated the act after him. He clapped and they all clapped back. Finally, he took out his cap and threw it on the ground, and the monkeys followed suit. Happily, he collected all the caps, mocked at them and went away.

Some years later, another cap seller happened to pass by the forest, and done by the heat, decided to take rest under a tree. Like his cap seller grandfather in the earlier incident, he too fell into deep slumber, and after sometime realized that all his caps had been taken away by the monkeys. The grandson soon recollected the experience shared by his grandfather, and decided to play the trick on the monkeys. The grandson showed his fist and the monkeys repeated it. He clapped and they all clapped after him. Finally, he took out his cap and threw it on the ground. The leader of the monkeys jumped down and slapped him hard on the face and said ‘Do you think we are nuts? Do you think, only you have a grandfather who shared his experience?’.

Twist to the tale

2009-03-26T06:53:00.000-07:00

Indian history is a testimony to Rajput warrior, Prithviraj Chauhan’s commitment towards his lady love. When her marriage was arranged to someone else by her parents, he came riding in a horse and took her away from the place where the marriage was to be solemnised. This spoke of his true love for his beloved.

In the Ramayana, a great Indian epic, we have heard of Ravana who in his unstoppable fury came in the form of a deer and enticed Sita, and took her away to Lanka. That led to the battle which finally ended in Ravana being defeated, and Sita being rescued and brought back to Ayodhya. This symbolizes the victory of good over evil

In the Mahabharata, another great Indian epic, we have heard of Draupadi, who was wedded to the five Pandava brothers, being disrobed. This amongst other things led to the fiercely led battle at Kurukshetra between the the Pandavas and Kauravas, all of them brothers. Again, victory of good over evil.

The Indian system of arranged marriage calls for eligible men to visit the would be bride’s home and approve of her after a fleeting glance at her. We have heard of men in such situations being besotted by the would be bride’s beautiful younger sister, and finally getting married to her. Love is not always blind.

A recent press insertion in the local newspaper was rather interesting. The marriage rituals were on, and the couple had to exchange garlands to signify their acceptance of each other. Amidst much fanfare, the bride groom garlanded the bride, and when it was the turn of the bride, she turned around and garlanded the photographer. There was utter shock, dismay and disbelief but the marriage was solemnized with the photographer who happened to be her earlier boyfriend. Scientifically looked at, this was ‘photochemistry’ whereas in the Rajput warrior’s case, it was ‘horse power’.

Never say die

2009-03-14T10:23:00.000-07:00

In the last week of January, 2009, a matter that was posted for final hearing at the Madras High Court was adjourned due to a one day strike by the Advocates. The matter was thus posted, once again, for final hearing on 19th February, 2009. Unfortunately, I was unavailable on this date due to my commitment to attend a seminar.

I had mentally given up attending the seminar since the matter at the High Court was an important matter for our Company. I shared my predicament with my facilitator, Srikumar, who matter of fact but powerfully told me that there was no way that I am going to miss the seminar on 19th February, and also reminded me of the commitment I had made to attend the same. I tried to explain to him the situation and that the Judge would not change the date even if I asked the Judge to advance the date of hearing. He retorted ‘ when there is a will, there is a way’ and posed a question ‘ do you want to honour your commitment and your word’?.

I got enrolled to his powerful statement and got touched, moved and inspired. That probably was the moment of truth and I decided to put in my best efforts to attend the seminar and also persuade our company’s advocate to get the date advanced. From then on, I was unstoppable and literally on a daily basis I have in more than one way convinced my advocate as to why I should attend the seminar and that I had a commitment to keep. After a lot of persuasion for around ten days and cajoling on my part, my advocate agreed to meet the Judge in her chamber and persuade her for a change in the date of hearing. As bad luck would have it, the advocates at the Madras High Court struck work from the 10th February to 18th February, and the Court was to reopen on 19th February, the date of our hearing. Due to this strike, my advocate expressed his inability to meet the Judge in her chambers as it would go against the decision of his brethren not to attend court.

I was at my wit’s end and for sometime had given up even trying to attend the seminar. But the words of my facilitator started ringing in my ears and I told myself I will not give up. There were several rounds of discussions with my advocate between 10th and 18th and I tried all tricks available in the book to convince my advocate that attending the seminar was important. However, I booked my flight tickets since a change in the date was still uncertain. On 18th night, the daily cause list of the Court arrived and our matter was not listed. My advocate informed me that the Judge was on casual leave and I need not attend the court.

Looking back, I realize that I had been so powerful those two weeks and had put in my best to ensure that I attend the seminar. So powerful was my commitment to attend the seminar that, like it is said, ‘the whole universe conspired for me’. Let me humbly submit I realized that it was always the reasons and justifications that we give ourselves that stop us and that we can be persuasive , if we want to be. Later my advocate told me that he had never seen me so powerful and engaging. I have learnt a lesson that whatever may be the situation, I will put in my best and never ever have a lingering conversation within myself that something is not possible.

Thank you, Srikumar, for enabling me honouring my word and being unstoppable.

Clarity of Distance

2009-03-07T09:02:00.000-08:00

Children surprise parents. I had this unforgettable experience in a seminar that my daughter recently attended. My wife and I were invited as her ‘graduate guests’ since both of us had attended this seminar earlier organized by the Landmark Forum.

The forum leader asked the participants to share their learning and experience of the forum and our daughter’s hand went up. She was invited to the podium to share. With a lot of confidence and nonchalance she stood before the audience numbering around four hundred and literally created magic. The entire audience listened to her in rapt attention and both of us were dumbstruck and overwhelmed.

She spoke eloquently about her vulnerability in life and as to how the seminar had opened her mental windows and made her present to the ‘present’ and the beautiful moments around. Her concluding remarks still ring a bell in our ears – “I thank you, Papa, for enrolling me to join the seminar. Papa and Mamma, kindly stand up. I want to acknowledge both of you for being such wonderful parents, and Shashank for being a wonderful brother. I thank you for trusting me and believing in me. I love you both”. There was thunderous applause in the auditorium and we were in tears. The forum leader looked at her and remarked ‘very powerful, keep it up’.

We never realized that our daughter had so much potential. Probably, we had always looked at her as a child. This was our moment of truth and we realized she had grown up to be a very confident human being. As the forum leader had remarked, we realised she had always been powerful but that both of us required the clarity of distance to spot her competence.

We congratulate you Shraddha, and may you continue to be powerful, self expressed and extraordinary.

No love lost

2009-02-27T05:33:00.000-08:00

There were news reports of two brothers celebrating the birthday of their mother. Several guests were invited for this special bash which included the de la crème of the city. The two brothers, their wives and children mingled with everyone present and made it a special occasion. Top models walked the ramp and the children too did some sashaying. The best of food and wine was served and it was all fun and frolic.

A photographer was invited all the way from abroad to shoot pictures of the family and the guests. The presence of this photographer surprised me and left me wondering whether India had any good photographers at all. A special film was made in the mother’s honour and was screened to the guests. The brothers in their speech emphasized the role of their mother and communicated to her that she was the most important person in their respective lives. And finally when the guests left, each one of them was presented with a silver box as a take away gift.

What was the take away gift for the mother? The greatest gift for the mother would have been seeing both her sons speak to each other which did not happen during the entire function. And she indeed was deprived of this precious gift.

So much for all the ostentation,
So much for a mother’s love!

Understanding the distinction

2009-02-21T04:02:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine who sells life insurance policies possesses a ‘never say die attitude’. There have been several occasions that he has visited me, called me over the phone, sent me messages and listened to the several “not now” answers that I have given him. It never mattered to him and his persistence paid off just last week when he grabbed a policy of high value from me. So, how did he deal with the ‘No’ that I had often told him?

His comments to this question were very cryptic but provided powerful insights.
These were:
‘No’ is said to the request or proposal made
‘No’ is never forever
‘No’ is not to the ‘person’ but to the ‘request/ proposal’ made
‘No’, if seen this way, shows the way forward
‘No’ should not stop and intimidate us
‘No’ never stopped the extraordinary
‘No’ never stopped Mahatma Gandhi or Martin Luther King
‘No’ is eventually and finally followed by ‘Yes’

He finally concluded saying that the ‘meanings’ we assign to ‘No’ make all the difference and hence it was important to understand this critical distinction and march on unabashedly.

Valentine's Special

2009-02-13T22:44:00.000-08:00

It was an amazing interview with Pranay Tiwari who in his Curriculum Vitae had mentioned that he writes short stories, mostly fiction. I was quite curious to know about them and requested him to narrate one. Here is how the story goes.

There was a couple who got married against their parents wishes. The parents accepted the marriage but were not too happy. All was well for a few months until during a medical examination it was revealed that the girl was suffering from cancer. All hell broke loose at home with the in laws cursing their fate and also the girl. The boy on coming back from an official tour was shown the report, and he was just staring at the report, truly shocked. The girl’s stare was fixed at her husband and she waited for his reaction knowing fully well this could be the moment of truth. Her husband was silent and the in laws were furious. The husband looked at her, tore the report and hugged her. Both of them were in tears but promised each other that they will fight this together.

That’s love – Happy Valentine’s Day

The next piece he narrated was when this couple went to a market. While buying tomatoes, some of them fell down. The wife stretched to pick them up when a vehicle from behind came to a screeching halt. The husband screamed at her, and she was totally upset because he had never done this before . Back home after the silent walk from the market, she asked him ‘ Have I become a pest ? How is that you screamed at me and that too in the market place? Pat came the reply from the husband ‘Sweetheart, the tomatoes can go, but I can never ever afford losing you’.

That’s love – Happy Valentine’s Day.

The final piece was about the couple visiting a lot of doctors to cure the ailment. Finally, they zeroed on one whom they thought was loving and trustworthy. The date of the operation was fixed and as they turned back to the exit door, they saw a picture of a girl on the wall. The doctor told them that it was his daughter who had died of cancer some years ago. Looking at the girl’s tearful face, the doctor told her ‘ You have nothing to worry and your life is my responsibility. I have found my daughter in you’.

That’s love - Happy Valentine’s Day.

Thanks to Pranay Tiwari and Happy Valentine’s Day to one and all

Life is not a race

2009-02-06T10:19:00.000-08:00

I had a hectic week and was generally chilling out . Was during the week, flitting in and out of home on official tours. Thought of writing a post and give vent to lingering conversations within myself. Until I read this one which lightened my being.

This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital.

SLOW DANCE
Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask ‘How are you’?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say, "Hi"
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

Insightful and touching. I thought I should learn and share this lesson.

That's life

2009-01-31T09:02:00.000-08:00

Recently my friend's mother passed away. I had been to the funeral. A lot of peole had gathered and the scene was quite emotional. Relatives, near and dear, paid their last respects to the departed soul.

My friend's father who was suffering from Alzheimer's disease was shown his wife's body and was informed that she was no more. The father was oblivious to the fact that she had passed away. People around who witnessed this scene cried bitterly that the father could not fathom what had happened. The husband and the wife, both life partners, suffered no grief, each for their own reasons. One was affected by Alzheimer's and the other a departed soul . Paradoxically, all others present were grieving for husband and the wife. How strange sometimes life is.

After the funeral was over, my friend told me that his sisters and brothers would go away since they stayed abroad.Thus, the responsibility of looking after the father would rest on him. I told him that over the years he had looked after his parents, and that now he had to continue looking after his father. I saw his concern and understood that the way his siblings had their own lives to lead, he also had his own.

Seeing his concern and the string of words formed on his lips, I prodded him to speak out. My friend said "My concern is not about looking after my father. But whether I can look after him the same way my mother did. I cannot be 'her' to 'him' ." So poignant and well said.

Indeed husband - wife relationship is so special - a spiritual relationship - an union of two souls.

Our Republic Day

2009-01-26T08:12:00.000-08:00

26th January 1950 is one of the most important days in Indian history as it was on this day the constitution of India came into force and India became a truly sovereign state. The meaning – no more monarchy. India in spirit, became free.

I was in my usual morning walk around the ‘Five Gardens’ at Dadar, Mumbai, and was amazed at the patriotic fervour that I was witness to . A huge celebration at the garden (organized by the Laughter Club) consisting of senior and junior citizens holding the Indian tricolour and shouting chants of ‘Bharat Mata Ki Jai’(Long Live - the Indian State).More stimulating was the fact that there were more youth attending this year’s celebrations. This was a clear indication of the youth taking charge and taking over the mantle. A welcome sign, I thought.

There were no speeches but only action. People standing together holding hands and singing songs like ‘Saare Jahan Se Achha, Yeh Hindustan Hamara’(India is a great place in this entire world), ‘Hum Honge Kamyaab’(We will be victorious and we are confident), ‘Yeh Mere Vatan Ke Logo’(an immortal song sung for our soldiers by the melody queen Lata Mangeshkar which had our Late Prime Minister Pandit Jawarhlal Nehru in tears), and followed by ‘Vande Mataram’(I salute you – mother) and our national anthem ‘Jana Gana Mana’( of Indian citizens and its states). Finally, it was of unfurling the national tricolor atop , and chanting cries of ‘Long live our country and its citizens’.

The uniqueness was when the national anthem was sung. People wherever they were in their morning walk stood at their very spot and vehicles too followed suit. This was amazing considering the hustle and bustle of Mumbai where everyone had their chores to do and were generally absorbed in their daily do’s and don’ts . Equally exciting was the numerous vans led by the youth distributing national flags, sweets, and serving tea and snacks to one and all.

Does all this speak about a resurgent India where the youth is ready to take over? Are these the first steps towards responsibility and accountability to build and shape India into a truly great country that it is? Does it have any connection with the recent blasts whereby the citizens have realized that it is action that matters? Whatever may be the answers, these are encouraging signs for a better tomorrow to which we can proudly and confidently look for.

Hospital Highlights

2009-01-21T10:19:00.000-08:00

The last I visited a hospital was when my sister in law underwent a cataract operation. As it has always been in our family, the entire jing bang consisting of my brother, my wife, my niece, my sis in law(it was her operation), her brother, mother and sister were all there. I do not know whether it should be termed concern, moral support or simply ‘love’. Yes, in our family, we are always there for each other. Just the thought is so comforting. We have been brought up that way.

The whole process took over three hours including the post operation rest. This is about what I witnessed during the time I spent there. I had my camera which has become a necessary appendage. I clicked some snaps which I think are worth writing about.
The first of course was about a placard fixed to the hospital bed with the title ‘Starvation’. Why on earth would people come to a hospital and starve? My curiosity was so overwhelming that I chose to ask the nurse for an explanation for the title. What she told me was amazing. The bed was for patients who had to undergo tests for sugar in their blood and urine for which ‘fasting before the tests’ was essential. By Jeeve, I realized ‘starvation’ meant ‘fasting’.

Next was about a stuffed monkey toy with a string attached to a pulley. What is it about, I kept wondering. The nurse came to my rescue and said ‘this was brought by a patient who loved monkeys and till he was discharged he used to play with the toy monkey by pulling the string. Whoever passed that way pulled the string and the toy monkey went up and down which was a great source of amusement to one and all. I thought this was essential to provide succour and relief for patients.
In all that transpired, I keenly observed a gentleman who was supervising the house keeping operations. An ideal supervisor at that. A stickler to cleanliness, and was all the time ensuring that his people put in their day’s worth. Personally, he picked up the broom and demonstrated how work was to be done. He extracted enough and more work from his subordinates and was of the kind who would brook no nonsense. He was everywhere and had the agility of a deer. Such kind are very rare today and I was wonderstruck. I called him over and made enquiries.

He is Gajanan Govind Shetye, on contract with the hospital and with a missionary zeal. He had taken Voluntary Retirement from Mahindra and Mahindra after working as a Machine Operator for twenty years, and came to work at the hospital. He told me the work he did in the hospital was his calling in life and hence vowed that he would put in one hundred per cent. I saw him commanding a unique respect from all those present and his enthusiasm was infectious. He earned around five thousand per month and told me more than half of what he earned was given to the poor and needy who sought his assistance. He added that the Almighty up there was kind to him and he had no complaints in life. I was dumbstruck.

Resting in bed that night I was thinking about the toy monkey, and the supervisor, Gajanan, who in their own ways brought life to the hospital, and created an ever lasting impact on me and the people around.

Week End Musings

2009-01-17T07:10:00.000-08:00

Lazing around on a Sunday evening at home, some of the incidents at school extending to similar ones today came to my mind. I thought I will write some of these if not for anything but at least for sake of posterity.

I remember our drill master intending to tell a girl student to tuck her blouse inside her skirt . This is what he said “Go inside your blouse”. All students burst into laughter and the teacher did not know why.

There was this teacher who taught us Hindi. He had shut out a student and he wanted the boy to come inside the class. Instead of saying “Come in”, the teacher went outside the class and shouted ‘Get out’. The teacher’s English was restricted to ‘Good morning, good evening and get out’. Another incident when the teacher wanted to shut out three students who did not do their home work. The teacher said ‘Both of the three students – out, out and out’ Hilarious.

These incidents did not stop with school but extended to the business world. Some of these are quite interesting. A male employee who delayed submission of a report wrote a memo to his lady boss ‘ Report late. Kindly bare with me’. The lady boss could not control her laughter.

My friend, Kavi, at the end of a training session that he delivered effectively, was told by one of the lady participants much to his anguish, ‘I enjoyed you thoroughly’. Poor Kavi did not know where to look.

This one is the icing on the cake. To remind his boss of a particular issue, the young man sent a SMS captioned ‘Genital reminder’ instead of ‘Gentle reminder’. The boss was doubting the intentions.

I could go on. But my lazing around had to end with my wife’s call to accompany her to the market. No way, but heed to my boss’s call.